EVANSDALE, Iowa -- It has been nearly a year since their daughter and niece were abducted
from this northeast Iowa town, but for Drew and Heather Collins, the
search for answers is still as frustrating and the pain just as raw as
it was last July."It's never over," Drew said. "Even a year later, it's not over, and I don't think it's ever going to be over. You're hit with something so devastating your life is never going to be the same."
The couple sat down with The Des Moines Register last week to reflect on a year that brought a fresh purpose to their lives but no comfort.
The five months after Elizabeth Collins, 8, and Lyric Cook-Morrissey, 10, went missing July 13, 2012, were spent searching, waiting and praying that the two girls would come home safely. In the seven months since their bodies were discovered Dec. 5, Drew and Heather have poured themselves into causes tied to the girls' deaths, now considered homicides.
The couple used to spend their days like many Iowa parents: going to work, taking care of their children, participating in church activities and cherishing their free time together. Now, any spare moments are spent raising money and spreading awareness.
Heather is helping raise money and coordinate construction for a memorial park at Meyers Lake for Elizabeth, Lyric and three other slain women. Drew is on a crusade to help police crack down on convicted sex offenders considered missing after they fail to register with authorities. He has made posters bearing missing sex offenders' faces to hang in Iowa police stations and raises money to use as rewards for people who provide information about their whereabouts.
The two have joined other parents in fighting for legislative changes at the Iowa Statehouse, including stricter penalties for sex offenses and reinstating the death penalty. It's a new experience for two people who say they were not politically active before.
"Most people don't get into what we're doing now unless (they) have had something tragic happen to them," Heather said. "You have to try to do all that you can to make it better for the next person, as hard as it is to be doing what you're doing."
Their activism has meant news conferences at the Iowa Capitol, meetings with the governor and conversations with lawmakers about tougher penalties for those who commit crimes against children. They also have pushed to make it easier for authorities to alert the public when children go missing.
They have organized and attended fundraisers and talked about their daughter's death — when what they really have wanted to do was stay home with the curtains drawn.
Their initial steps into politics left them angry with lawmakers who Drew said are sympathetic to their story but refused to take action to prevent future tragedies.
Both parents fought back their emotions as they talked about Elizabeth and their lives without her. Drew had to stop during the interview to compose himself as tears welled up in his eyes.
"It feels like you're never going to be happy again, and you're never going to have joy," he said.
Heather said she relies on God to get her through each day, "step by step."
For Drew, returning to the family tree-trimming business has been a challenge. He struggles to stay focused and sometimes forgets things he is supposed to do, he said.
"It tests you every day to even get up," Drew said.
A large photo of Elizabeth, with pink glasses, short brown hair and her head tilted to one side, hangs on the wall at the foot of Drew and Heather's bed.
Looking at that photo, Drew said, offers him the motivation he needs to get out of bed each morning.
Helping their children cope with the loss
They know more struggles lie ahead.
Statistics tell them many couples who have a child abducted or murdered don't stay together.
"Someone took our daughter and decided to kill her, and our niece also, and left them out like they were nothing. That's probably been the hardest part for both of us," Heather said. "You have to stay together as a husband and wife through this."
As they work through their own grief, they're trying to help their three surviving children cope with the loss of their sister.
It's an ongoing challenge to help their son Kelly, 14, and daughters Amber, 7, and Callie, 5, mourn for Elizabeth while taking comfort in the fact that she's in heaven, Heather said.
They've heard of siblings of other kidnapped children who felt overprotected. It takes a balancing act to make sure their children are safe but also allowed to have fun.
The family takes flowers and flags to Elizabeth and Lyric's gravestones. But while remembering Elizabeth, Drew and Heather recognize they need to make sure their three other children feel special, too.
"A lot of stuff was focused on Elizabeth there for five months," Heather said. "That's all we did. We're letting them know we never forgot about them during that time."
Drew and Heather also made the painful decision to let Amber move into Elizabeth's bedroom.
"If it made (Amber) feel better, you have to not be selfish," Heather said.
Mementos of Elizabeth remain scattered throughout the Collins home.
A portrait of Drew and Elizabeth at Chuck E. Cheese in 2011 is tucked in the corner of a picture frame. A plaque atop the entertainment center reads, "Because someone we love is in Heaven ... there's a little bit of Heaven in our home."
Relations difficult in extended family
Relations among the girls' extended families remain strained as they struggle under the weight of the girls' slaying and their absence.
"It's just hard, and it only gets harder," said Wylma Cook, the girls' grandmother, who was among the last people to see them before they disappeared.
Lyric's mother, Misty Cook, did not return calls for comment and has remained silent since the girls' bodies were discovered by hunters at the Seven Bridges Wildlife Area in Bremer County, Iowa, in December.
Heather said of her relationship with Misty: "It wasn't the best to start with, so there wasn't really much to go with."
Lyric's father, Dan Morrissey, is in jail, awaiting sentencing on several drug and assault charges.
Evansdale Police Chief Kent Smock said that although family members were interviewed and allegations against them were followed "long and hard," no one is considered a suspect.
"At this point, they're grieving family members missing their daughters and nieces," he said.
Wanting answers from investigation
The yearlong investigation into the girls' kidnapping and murder has turned up little information and left family members and the public with nagging questions.
"It's frustrating because you want to know, and you don't get those answers," Drew said.
As they wait, Drew and Heather try to put out of their minds questions about what happened to the girls before they died and who is responsible.
"In order to be a productive person and not dwell on this, I can't think about it," Heather said. "I leave it in God's hands, and know he's handling it. Hopefully, we'll find out someday sooner or later."
The family has relied greatly on their faith to help them through each day.
"Some people going through this may be mad at God. I'm not mad at God," Drew said. "God is 100 times more sad about this than we even are."
On July 13, Drew and Heather will participate in a Memorial Ride and Drive to commemorate Lyric and Elizabeth. Proceeds will go to the memorial park and Cedar Valley Crime Stoppers.
They remain focused on working for changes they hope will make Iowa safer for other children, while acknowledging their own healing may never come.
"I know that until changes are made, this is just going to continue to happen," Drew said. "I know what it's done to us and what it's done to our kids. I don't want anybody to go through what we've gone through."
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