Union Jacks aren’t usually handed out
to passengers when the Queen Mary 2 sets sail from Southampton to New
York — but they are this evening.
What’s more, the Duke of Edinburgh dropped by earlier in the day to wish her and all who sail in her well.
Then, at 10 pm, with fireworks to port and the QM2’s sister ships, Queen Victoria and Queen Elizabeth to starboard, we wave our flags with gusto as the world’s longest, tallest, widest and most expensive ocean liner ever built embarks on its tenth anniversary voyage.
Blaring out through the tannoy is Baroque composer Jeremiah Clarke’s Prince of Denmark’s March and complimentary bubbly is on offer to anyone who asks politely. It beats squeezing into an airline seat.
Next morning, my wife and I are waiting near one of the 22 passenger lifts and the captain, no less, Kevin Oprey, happens to float by.
He’s the answer to my prayers because for all my chat about this being a once-in-a-lifetime experience where one can do as much or little as one wants, it’s nothing short of a miracle Mrs Palmer is on board at all.
The last time we took a cruise and the ship moved about a teeny-weeny bit in the swell, her life jacket joined us in bed.
‘It may be windy from time to time, but you’ll hardly feel a thing,’ says the captain. What is it about a man in uniform?
He’s right, too, because, as we are constantly reminded, this is not a cruise ship. This is a 152,000-ton liner, purpose built to cut a swathe through the roughest ocean waves.
There are 2,600 passengers and 1,200 staff on board — but you would never know it. Inside and out, there are un-crowded corners to sit and read or just stare over the rolling Atlantic, which we learn covers 20 per cent of the Earth’s surface.
What I love is that there is no need to feel guilty about not visiting yet another temple, cathedral or art gallery.
You’re going nowhere while being transported from one continent to another. However, at the same time, you can be busy from morning to night.
Here’s an example of one day’s activities: Power deck walk at 8am, beginner’s bridge at 9.30am, watercolour class at 10am, introduction to Apple Mac computing at 11.30am, line dancing at noon, piano recital at 2pm, a performance of The Merchant of Venice at 3pm, a blockbuster movie at 4pm, lecture about the sinking of the Titanic (no point skirting the issue) at 5pm.
Then in the evening take your pick from West End musicals to karaoke and from ballroom dancing to string quartets and ‘DJ Marc’s Seventies nights’.
Anyone would think there’s no time to eat. But you can eat all day if you want — and for the first 48 hours that’s pretty much what we do.
Then we pull ourselves together and throw ourselves headlong into the programme.
No sooner do we finish breakfast one morning than my wife announces she’s off to her class. What is it this time? Scarf tying — with napkin folding to follow.
Which frees me up to attend Eats, Shoots & Leaves author Lynne Truss’s witty talk about zero tolerance for poor punctuation.
All the lectures are packed and none lasts more than 45 minutes.
‘Why wasn’t school like this?’ asks an American woman as we file out from a lecture about the Middle East.
Probably because at school there wasn’t a fully fledged spa and a dozen or so bars to ease the learning process.
Probably because there weren’t professional musicians and RADA-trained actors to liven up one’s free time. The food is not exactly school dinners either.
Depending on your cabin, you are assigned to one of four restaurants.
We’re in the Princess Grill, where the nosh is as good if not better than in most smart London hotels, the service superior and infinitely more sincere.
One of my favourite moments is when the Daily Programme sheet arrives at about 7pm and you start plotting the following day. And it’s wonderful going to bed knowing that most nights you gain an hour’s sleep as the clocks go back.
The whole notion of jet lag seems brutal. It’s all so seductive that I defy anyone not to have a good time. Politeness rules the waves. In fact for seven days we never once hear a raised voice, a complaint, even the faintest of resigned sighs.
And everyone is busy. Young and old alike scurry around with their itineraries like punters studying their race cards at a big race meeting.
Yes, it’s genteel (12 Years a Slave is ‘not recommended for sensitive viewers’, we are warned prior to a showing of the film) but it’s a wonderful way to arrive in New York.
Mind you, it’s an early start at the finish line. The captain tells us the night before that we will sail under the Verrazano Bridge at 4.45 am and should pass the Statue of Liberty half an hour or so later. He’s spot on.
Unfortunately, a fog has settled over Manhattan.
There are few twinkling lights to greet us — but there’s still a collective intake of breath as the Statue of Liberty comes into view. Then it’s back to bed and a final breakfast before rejoining the real world.
This cruise, sorry, transatlantic crossing reminds me of President Reagan’s line: ‘It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure why take the chance?’
Travel Facts
Queen Mary 2 departs Southampton on June 24 2014 for a seven-night voyage to New York. Fares from £1,579 for a Balcony cabin or from £2,249 for a Princess Grill Suite. Cunard.co.uk, 0843 374 000.
What’s more, the Duke of Edinburgh dropped by earlier in the day to wish her and all who sail in her well.
Then, at 10 pm, with fireworks to port and the QM2’s sister ships, Queen Victoria and Queen Elizabeth to starboard, we wave our flags with gusto as the world’s longest, tallest, widest and most expensive ocean liner ever built embarks on its tenth anniversary voyage.
Grand scale: The QM2 is 1,132 foot long making it the world's longest passenger ship
Epic proportions: On this voyage, there are 2,600 passengers and 1,200 staff on board the QM2
Blaring out through the tannoy is Baroque composer Jeremiah Clarke’s Prince of Denmark’s March and complimentary bubbly is on offer to anyone who asks politely. It beats squeezing into an airline seat.
Next morning, my wife and I are waiting near one of the 22 passenger lifts and the captain, no less, Kevin Oprey, happens to float by.
He’s the answer to my prayers because for all my chat about this being a once-in-a-lifetime experience where one can do as much or little as one wants, it’s nothing short of a miracle Mrs Palmer is on board at all.
The last time we took a cruise and the ship moved about a teeny-weeny bit in the swell, her life jacket joined us in bed.
‘It may be windy from time to time, but you’ll hardly feel a thing,’ says the captain. What is it about a man in uniform?
He’s right, too, because, as we are constantly reminded, this is not a cruise ship. This is a 152,000-ton liner, purpose built to cut a swathe through the roughest ocean waves.
Iconic skyline: The QM2 bids farewell to New York and heads for Southampton
There are 2,600 passengers and 1,200 staff on board — but you would never know it. Inside and out, there are un-crowded corners to sit and read or just stare over the rolling Atlantic, which we learn covers 20 per cent of the Earth’s surface.
What I love is that there is no need to feel guilty about not visiting yet another temple, cathedral or art gallery.
Lavish: Inside the QM2 the spacious cabins are perfect to relax in
Record-breaking: The QM2 also boasts the world's first ever floating planetarium
Lavish: The grand and ornate setting of the ship's Britannia restaurant
You’re going nowhere while being transported from one continent to another. However, at the same time, you can be busy from morning to night.
Here’s an example of one day’s activities: Power deck walk at 8am, beginner’s bridge at 9.30am, watercolour class at 10am, introduction to Apple Mac computing at 11.30am, line dancing at noon, piano recital at 2pm, a performance of The Merchant of Venice at 3pm, a blockbuster movie at 4pm, lecture about the sinking of the Titanic (no point skirting the issue) at 5pm.
Hazy days: The magnificent QM2 departs New York at dawn
Then in the evening take your pick from West End musicals to karaoke and from ballroom dancing to string quartets and ‘DJ Marc’s Seventies nights’.
Anyone would think there’s no time to eat. But you can eat all day if you want — and for the first 48 hours that’s pretty much what we do.
Then we pull ourselves together and throw ourselves headlong into the programme.
No sooner do we finish breakfast one morning than my wife announces she’s off to her class. What is it this time? Scarf tying — with napkin folding to follow.
Travel in style: Passengers gather on the quarterdeck of QM2 as she departs from New York
Which frees me up to attend Eats, Shoots & Leaves author Lynne Truss’s witty talk about zero tolerance for poor punctuation.
All the lectures are packed and none lasts more than 45 minutes.
‘Why wasn’t school like this?’ asks an American woman as we file out from a lecture about the Middle East.
Probably because at school there wasn’t a fully fledged spa and a dozen or so bars to ease the learning process.
Probably because there weren’t professional musicians and RADA-trained actors to liven up one’s free time. The food is not exactly school dinners either.
Depending on your cabin, you are assigned to one of four restaurants.
The Big Apple: Cunard's liner QM2 departs New York against the background of lower Manhattan
We’re in the Princess Grill, where the nosh is as good if not better than in most smart London hotels, the service superior and infinitely more sincere.
One of my favourite moments is when the Daily Programme sheet arrives at about 7pm and you start plotting the following day. And it’s wonderful going to bed knowing that most nights you gain an hour’s sleep as the clocks go back.
The whole notion of jet lag seems brutal. It’s all so seductive that I defy anyone not to have a good time. Politeness rules the waves. In fact for seven days we never once hear a raised voice, a complaint, even the faintest of resigned sighs.
And everyone is busy. Young and old alike scurry around with their itineraries like punters studying their race cards at a big race meeting.
Yes, it’s genteel (12 Years a Slave is ‘not recommended for sensitive viewers’, we are warned prior to a showing of the film) but it’s a wonderful way to arrive in New York.
Mind you, it’s an early start at the finish line. The captain tells us the night before that we will sail under the Verrazano Bridge at 4.45 am and should pass the Statue of Liberty half an hour or so later. He’s spot on.
Unfortunately, a fog has settled over Manhattan.
There are few twinkling lights to greet us — but there’s still a collective intake of breath as the Statue of Liberty comes into view. Then it’s back to bed and a final breakfast before rejoining the real world.
This cruise, sorry, transatlantic crossing reminds me of President Reagan’s line: ‘It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure why take the chance?’
Travel Facts
Queen Mary 2 departs Southampton on June 24 2014 for a seven-night voyage to New York. Fares from £1,579 for a Balcony cabin or from £2,249 for a Princess Grill Suite. Cunard.co.uk, 0843 374 000.
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