Discussion: "Comparison is the thief of joy"

I wanted to talk a bit more this week about the idea of "comparison." I touched on it briefly in last week's "Are we relevant?" and Mademoiselle Robot explored this idea completely last week, while I focused more on talking about creative powers. And you guessed it - this week the lady Robot is talking more about those creative powers. It's a bit of a switcheroo if you will. Off we go, and let me kick off with this statement: the biggest challenge as a blogger is staying relevant in a unique way.  Inspiration can find itself anywhere and for most of us, these days, other blogs play a big part in that inspiration. But looking at other blogs can also be disheartening and sometimes drive us all to comparison insanity. So, let's explore...

When I first started FFG, I was pretty much one of the first fashion news sites in the UK that was putting out 10-20 pieces of content a day. But this wasn't an original thought. I was looking at people like Perez Hilton in the USA, digesting daily his massive amount of content and aiming to provide the same sort of service for those looking for fashion information. This was not an example of comparison and never could be as I was looking at a platform that would never be a competitor, simply a driving force for my own creativity. By default, I learned an important lesson early in my career. "Tis better to have inspiration than comparison." Since that point I have tried to digest blogs that compliment my creative side, not resemble it. In this day and age, that isn't easy to do. We now live in a world of blogging where being unique is downright difficult. Sometimes it feels like it's all been done, and ten times over. 

I blame a lot of this non-original thought on the pressures that come with comparison. We have become a team of men and women that are ruled by numbers: followers on the blog, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and more. With the launch of every new social network, the masses scramble to be top dog with the most devotees following. How can one not be part of the comparison wheel? Well, first off I'll tell you it is possible. Don't believe me? Read my piece I wrote on turning off the numbers brain. If you are constantly looking sideways to see where your "competitors" are, you will completely lose sight of where you are. This is the truth. I have watched women fall because of these pressures and completely lose their way, and ultimately give up. If you measure success by comparison to others, you might as well hand in your keys to the kingdom now. 

But here's a healthy way to use "comparison" to your advantage. Constantly compare yourself to yourself. Ok, sounds ridiculous, but this works. Be your own harshest critic and use your past self to improve your future. Be kind in your judgement but set your own goals. Rather than saying you want to have more followers than a friend, say I want to have more engaged followers than I used to have and actively go out and try to change that. It's possible, and it doesn't require you having ill will towards anyone else. 

Now, I say all of this mostly because a lot of my friends are bloggers. And a lot of those bloggers have a hell of lot larger followings than me on a lot of social networks. Well, I could sit and stew about that and constantly look at their pages and try to mimic what they are doing to grow my audience in that way (and yes, I know dozens of people that do this regularly - they blatantly change their style to match the desaturated and white washed pictures that are successful on instagram at the moment), but surely it's better to keep these people as friends, support them creatively and find your own path to greatness? Maybe that's just my own naive mind speaking but I don't understand friendships that have an underlying tone of competition. And yes, I feel like any blog you read or follow these days should feel like someone that's your friend. Hell, even if you've never met the person in the flesh. This isn't Vogue. We're meant to be relatable - not untouchable. Anyone that's forgotten that along the way needs to check out not. 

Ultimately, if you stop looking sideways you will never lose, as all you can ever do is improve if you're in the game of moving forward. Creativity doesn't have a losing streak. Sure there are ruts, but as long as you're creating, you're winning. What everyone else is doing, what companies they may be working with or how "successful" the world perceives them to be has absolutely nothing to do with you. That's the God's honest truth. You report to one person in this world and that's yourself. Do you want to be measured by comparison to others? Doubtful! 

I'll leave you with few quotes I always like to remember when it comes to this topic. In fact, they've all been part of a bulletin board above my desk at one stage or another:

Read More »

My perfect beach dress

As I write this, I'm praying you have a holiday planned - not just so you'll have a place to wear this beautiful beach dress, but so that you'll actually get the break you most likely well deserve. Call me crazy but I have this box in me laundry room that's labeled "tropical escapes." Throughout the year I find gorgeous pieces, everywhere from thrift stores to sample sales and I squirrel away these finds in this "tropical escapes" box and hope that the year will provide a destination worthy of breaking out these fantasy items. About two months ago I added one such item...

And yes, that item is staring back at you above. Monsoon and Accessorize have a good way of teasing us all by releasing a holiday shop VERY early in the year. I am pretty sure they think they're doing us all a favor, but I blame them for my hours of daydreaming as I plan out where I'll wear their stunning ensembles. I took a risk on the Ava Lace Dress - not knowing when or where I would wear it but thinking it would be the perfect hotel room to beach lounger dress. In the box it went. Two weeks ago, it came out to play in Marbella, Spain. I can confirm it's everything and more (and still available to buy on the website). 

Read More »

FFG Travels: Puente Romano, Marbella, Spain

When you live in London, weekend escapes become an essential part of life. You take them whenever and wherever you can get them (funds depending). Whether you're catching a bus to a Cotswolds weekend of coziness or hopping a plane to the continent for some sun before the two week London summer, weekends are all about escaping the city. Over the years I've tried to bring you as many quick and easy retreats as possible and my search continues with the discovery of an oasis of sorts in Marbella, Spain. Allow me to formerly introduce you to Puente Romano. 

Earlier this week I showcased a video of some of the highlights of my trip. Let's just say there are certain places you visit where still imagery only tells a third of the story. Moving images were required. Needless to say, I was floored by the magnificence of this resort.

Now, before we move forward, a little history. Puente Romano gets its name from the existing Roman Bridge that guests pass over to reach their accommodation. While the bridge dates back to the first century, the hotel itself was started in 1979. Puente Romano today sits as one of the most prestigious resorts in Marbella. It has a seaside village feel, and for good reason as it has some prime beach front real estate. Only this seaside village is a step up from what you'd expect, complete with several pools, a kicking night club (that's just opened), more restaurants than you have time to visit and service with a very large smile. 

The accommodation at Puente Romano is not only spacious (seriously, I could fit my whole London flat in a standard room), it's also chicly designed and given to you for usage with no luxury left to chance. The bathrooms come complete with a shower big enough for six people (don't get any ideas) and a bathroom complete with electric blinds that roll up to reveal a view of the room. Then there's the balcony. I knew the moment I walked in that this was a balcony designed for breakfasts in the room. As I sat, digging into my mountain of strawberries and cream, I took in the delightful smells and sounds of Marbella, Spain. Birds chirping, palm trees blowing in the wind and two swans gracefully swimming in front of my room made me think I had entered a whole different dimension entirely. 

And speaking of new dimensions... the food at Puente Romano will set your tongues wagging. No really. You'll want to tell the entire world about your culinary adventures at this hotel in Marbella, Spain. Whether you opt for the two Michelin star restaurant by Chef Dani Garcia, or keep things more casual with a visit to Rachel's, the food here is just unbelievable. They even have a gluten free bakery, people. How thoughtful of the hotel to keep people with gluten allergies in mind! Right?

Alright, it must be said that there's more to do here than just eat - although I could have done that all weekend and I have more to say about that, so leaving for another time. One can also play golf at the local golf club, go horseback riding, visit the beach, take a bike ride into the town centre or just totally zone out at the spa. Guess which activity I took on board? Oh come on, I'm a total spa nut. That was obvious. But this spa was like nothing I had seen before. Again, I think the video is best in displaying this. I'll just say this - Waterfall glass window walls! 

Now you've heard all I have to say, or all my fingers can type at this point, about this great weekend getaway from London (but watch out for a vlog on the food). So, how exactly do you get there? Well, the good news is that flights are super simple and very reasonable. I flew on Monarch from London Gatwick and the flight was not only at a decent hour, it was a great price and a VERY comfortable airline. Would definitely use them again. It's an easy win for a getaway to jump straight from the office on a Friday and jet back on a Sunday night. You'll reenter the London workforce with renewed vigour and a killer tan. Won't the other office employees be jealous! Go forth and get thee to Spain on the jiffy!

More info: http://ift.tt/MGCWxL

Fashion Foie Gras was a guest of the hotel for two nights.

Read More »

Style Conundrum: The double-my-size red dress

There's a back story here, people. Thought I'd say that first as I can see you thinking, "why is Emily wearing a dress that makes her look twice as wide as she actually is?" Enter the H&M Red Dress Style conundrum. I fell in love with this dress as I walked past H&M on Regent Street. It leapt out at me from the window with the sort of buy-me gravitas that I seldom find these days on the high street. So in I went and out I walked, with a red dress tucked safely in my bag. I didn't even try it on. Big mistake. 

As soon I returned home, I threw off my shopping gear and on went the dress that was love at first sight. Well, turns out the mirror has a good way of ruining romantic fashion moments. That same red dress, when I turned sideways, made me look like a whale. So what I do I do? Try not to let anyone see me sideways? Pray that this dress is only seen as I walk down long narrow alleyways? Ain't gonna happen. So I embraced my inner mou-mou love and packed the red dress for Marbella. Queue the second love affair. This was the most comfortable dress for the moment. It was fiery red and ready for attention, from the front, back and side. I said "screw it" to small style perfection and let my fashion freak flag fly. So who cares if I look like an exploding tomato occasionally? When cinched appropriately, I looked like a red hot tamale, ready for action. 

And that's the story of the double decker sized red dress.... 

Read More »

New Vlog: A weekend at Puente Romano in Marbella, Spain

Full review on the Hotel Puente Romano stay up tomorrow, but I thought I'd go ahead and whet your appetite with this week's vlog, showcasing some of the more stunning moments captured on camera while in residence. This was truly an experience to remember in Marbella, Spain. Check it out and don't forget to subscribe to FFG's Youtube channel so you never miss a clip going forward:

Read More »