Polls Show That People Care Obamacare Cares

A couple of weeks ago, the Commonwealth Fund released the results of a poll of people who have decided to take the plunge and actually dare to enroll in health insurance under the Affordable Care Act. One of the most surprising results -- well, "surprising" if you weren't paying attention to what the ACA actually did -- is that 74 percent of those who are newly insured said that they liked their plan.



Just to be clear, that wasn't 74 percent of all Americans... no, that was 74 percent of Republicans who were newly enrolled with health insurance who said they were happy with their coverage. Keep in mind that these are members of the same party of Congressmen who tried to repeal the ACA over 50 times.



Overall, 73 percent of Americans who bought health insurance under the law said they were "somewhat or very satisfied" with their new coverage. Even more, that number jumped to 87 percent of people who enrolled under Medicaid.



And for all the tales of outrage over a very small percentage of people who couldn't keep their old plans (bad plans that provided little actual coverage), the poll showed that 77 percent of those who had had insurance previously -- "including members of the much-publicized group whose plans got canceled last year" -- said they were in fact pleased with the new coverage they now have.



(It also turns out that the percentage of uninsured Latino Americans dropped over the past year from 36 percent down to 23 percent. So, the main purpose behind having the law turns out to be working. Furthermore, the average rate of the country's poorest citizens who were previously uninsured has dropped from 28 percent all the way down to 17 percent. That's the good news. The bad news is that drop is only in states that expanded their Medicaid coverage under the law. In states that have turned down expanding Medicaid, that rate of uninsured among its poor has remained around 36 percent. So, alas, though these latter are basically in red states, that means their citizens aren't able to be as happy as 74 percent of their fellow Republicans who live in blue states.)



I must admit that I wasn't surprised by the results. In part I wasn't surprised because... well, because I actually did pay attention to what "Obamacare" was and saw it was a really good thing. But in part, too, I wasn't surprised because I've repeatedly seen how it worked in real life. I've seen it in my monthly bills, which I've written about in the past, and I've seen about it in a procedure I recently went through.



A couple months back, I'd made an appointment with a doctor for the procedure, but when I found out that he didn't accept ACA coverage, I switched the appointment to one of his partners in the clinic who did accept the health insurance I had.



When the bill arrived, the total amount was for $745. The amount that I owed was... $89.



I just figured that most people would be happy about something like that.



Mind you, I know that my experiences aren't the same as all people who have ACA coverage. Some some plans cover the same procedures different. Some plans have different deductibles. Some doctors charged differently. Lots o' differences. The issue here, though, isn't the specific costs. The issue is -- under the Affordable Care Act, the amount of payment due plummeted.



And when I heard about there would be this new poll... I just figured that most people would be happy about something like that.



Even, as it turned out to be the case, Republicans.



Finally, something other than a love for pizza has brought Americans together. Happiness over their health coverage with the Affordable Care Act. Go figure.





__________




To read more from Robert J. Elisberg about this or many other matters both large and tidbit small, see Elisberg Industries.



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OK, Wise Guy -- What Would You Do About Hamas?

"If I was an Arab leader I would never sign an agreement with Israel. It is normal, we took their land. It is true that God promised it to us, but how could that interest them? Our God is not theirs. There has been Anti-Semitism, the Nazis, Hitler, Auschwitz, but was that their fault? They see but one thing: we come and we have stolen their country. Why should they accept that?"



That statement -- which would certainly outrage the current government of Israel and most of its supporters -- was made by David Ben Gurion (1886-1973), revered as the father of the State of Israel.



From the very beginning that issue has been at the heart of hostilities between Israel and the Arabs, particularly, of course, the Palestinians -- including the tragedy being played out in Gaza today.



Yesterday, I posted a blog calculating what would happen if the United States -- with 176 times more people than Gaza -- were to suffer the same proportion of casualties that the Palestinians have borne. As of today, that figure would have increased to 105,000 Americans killed, of which 26,400 would have been children.



(According to the UN, 75 percent of the casualties in Gaza are civilian).



My purpose in citing those statistic is not to say that Hamas is right. It's an attempt to make readers -- many of whom just don't want to know -- to make them understand how appalling the situation has become, in terms they might be able to understand.



Of course, Israel's leaders have to respond to the on-going, indiscriminate rocket attacks from Gaza. But Israel's sledgehammer reaction has been totally out of proportion.



To those who judge that statement naïve or hopelessly biased, 10 Israeli human rights organizations -- these are people living under the constant threat of those missiles from Gaza -- have condemned Israel's ongoing onslaught in the strongest terms, and raised concerns abut grave violations of international law.



O.K., you say, we acknowledge the horror of it all, but what the hell is Israel supposed to do, confronted with an implacable enemy like Hamas?



The answer is that slaughtering hundreds of Palestinians and wreaking horrendous carnage on one of the most densely populated places on earth is not the answer. It hasn't worked in the past. It won't work going forward. If, somehow, Israel manages to kill all the current generation of Hamas, they'll be replaced by their kids in even more radical form.



Hamas rocket attacks into Israel are a desperate riposte to the policies of Israel (backed by the United States) to keep the Palestinians at bay by whatever means necessary. That has led to Israel's (and Egypt's) stranglehold over Gaza, its economy, its people, and its government.



No one could accept such a drastic situation without ultimately striking back.



The attempt to throttle Gaza has included a campaign to wipe out Hamas -- Israel refusing, for instance, to return tax funds collected from the people of Gaza back to the government of Gaza to fund day-to-day operations. The upshot: because of Israel's strategies, and other political upheavals in the region, Hamas finds itself on the ropes. Thus, their desperate and near suicidal willingness to lash out.



That desperation, I repeat, is not just Hamas'. It also haunts the 1.7 million people living in what has been called an "open-air prison."



So what to do? A simple cease-fire with no preconditions, which is what American, Egypt and Israel have been advocating, probably will not work. It would mean a return to the status quo of Israel and Egypt maintaining their stranglehold on Gaza.



If Hamas were to accept such a deal, after their own huge losses and the horrors all the people of Gaza are suffering, they'd be committing political suicide. Which is just what Israel, the U.S. and the Egypt devoutly wish.



The problem is, as I've said, Hamas would probably be immediately replaced by something worse -- even more radical.



The only way to bolster more moderate voices among the Palestinians is for Israel to make it evident that more moderate policies can achieve something for the Palestinian people. Otherwise, forget it.



In Gaza, that would start with an easing of the blockade and a real agreement by Israel not to attempt to destroy the government of Gaza. Such an agreement would, of course, have to contain tight controls to make sure goods coming into Gaza were goods needed by the people, not to construct more rockets and secret tunnels. That would not be easy; it also would not seem to be an impossible task.



Israel and its backers also have to find some way to help restore Gaza's disastrous economy -- currently more than 50 percent of its people are unemployed. What does the world expect those people to do?



There are other obvious steps that Israel could take, beginning with ending the illegal settlements on the West Bank, to actually recognizing that, yes, Israel did take Arab land, and drove out the Palestinians in 1948 -- a fact recognized by Israeli historians, but still denied by Israel's government and its supporters.



Ah, but the Palestinians are not willing to negotiate. They've shown that over the years. Not true. Many of their leaders have been weak, corrupt and incompetent. But in almost every case, when there was a chance for serious negotiations over the years, Israel's actions -- particularly the inexorable expansion of the settlements, undermined the moderates, and only strengthened radical groups like Hamas. (Remember, it was Israel itself who helped found Hamas as a way of undermining the PLO).



But the problem is: just as Hamas cannot accept a cease-fire in Gaza at this point, without getting anything to show for the huge sacrifices the Palestinians have made, Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu would also risk political destruction if he made any significant concessions to Hamas or the Palestinians, after the sacrifices Israel is now making, particularly the loss of at least 29 Israeli soldiers.



And so the slaughter continues.



The tragic irony is that Israel, which has become one of the most technologically advanced countries in the world, is unable to resolve the quandary that has bedeviled it since its creation.



(Thanks to retired Egyptian diplomat and journalist, Ezzeldin Shawkat, for the quote cited above from David Ben Gurion)



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Miranda Kerr Looks For A Genuine Heart In A Potential Partner

Miranda Kerr steps out of her SUV at JFK Airport to catch a flight on Wednesday morning, July 23, in Queens, New York.



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Miranda Kerr Looks For A Genuine Heart In A Potential Partner

Miranda Kerr steps out of her SUV at JFK Airport to catch a flight on Wednesday morning, July 23, in Queens, New York.

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Lady Gaga Pulls A Miley Cyrus

Lady Gaga had some fun while onstage in Los Angeles, California, July 21, as part of her ARTPOP Ball tour.

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Anne Hathaway's Hair Is Officially 'Long' Again

Ladies and Jared Leto: if you've had a pixie cut for like, 23,403,840,328 years, you know damn well it's a momentous day when you can finally gather your locks into a ponytail.



Anne Hathaway hit that hair milestone on July 22, taking to the streets of New York, pony proudly on display with the help of a bright blue hair tie:







Nope, no shame in Hathaway's pony game. That pony is loud and proud, and she is simply owning it.



Just promise us this, Anne -- that you'll never forget how far you've come:

















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Premier League pre-season fixtures and results 2014

After the dust settles on the World Cup, make sure you keep up-to-date with all the Premier League pre-season fixtures and results with Sportsmail.

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Maude Apatow Will Guest Star On 'Girls' Season 4

Maude Apatow was seen dancing with Lena Dunham on the set of "Girls" Season 4, and now HBO confirmed to HuffPost Entertainment that she'll have a guest role on the hit show. TVLine was the first site to report the casting news.



Fifteen-year-old Apatow, who is best-known as all-star Twitter teen and Judd Apatow's daughter, will guest star as a character named Cleo, TVLine reported, and may appear in several episodes. Her credits include roles in "This is 40" and "Knocked Up." Judd Apatow is the executive producer of "Girls," and Dunham has spent time with Maude Apatow for years (they went to a Taylor Swift concert together and live tweeted the event for Teen Vogue -- it's worth a read).



"Girls" has already locked down Gillian Jacobs, Jason Ritter, Natasha Lyonne and Zachary Quinto for guest roles on Season 4.



Apatow's rep did not return immediate request for comment.

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Anne Hathaway's Hair Is Officially 'Long' Again

Ladies and Jared Leto: if you've had a pixie cut for like, 23,403,840,328 years, you know damn well it's a momentous day when you can finally gather your locks into a ponytail.



Anne Hathaway hit that hair milestone on July 22, taking to the streets of New York, pony proudly on display with the help of a bright blue hair tie:







Nope, no shame in Hathaway's pony game. That pony is loud and proud, and she is simply owning it.



Just promise us this, Anne -- that you'll never forget how far you've come:

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Boyhood: The Last of Its Kind

Boyhood, Richard Linklater's latest brainchild, is an epic, beautiful, and poignant film. It was shot over 12 years using the same actor, Ellar Coltrane, from age 6 to 18 and while the film has been getting a lot of attention for its grand time frame, its perhaps most notable for its timeliness.



Richard Linklater is no stranger to films that straddle fiction and reality. His 2011 film, Bernie, is based on the true story of Bernie Tiede, an assistant funeral director in Carthage, a small Texas town, who commits a murder. The film features testimonials from actual people from Carthage who knew the real Bernie. Linklater's Before Sunrise trilogy gives an improvised feeling since the films are all centered on long and wieldy conversations between two lovers as they walk around at different points in their lives. So Boyhood, which became tethered to how the real Ellar Coltrane developed, in many ways seems like the ultimate experiment in balance between reality and fiction.



Except that there already is a longitudinal project that is constantly updating and straddling that line: the Internet. Boyhood began its production 12 years ago - only two years before Facebook was founded. At the time when Linklater came up with this project home videos and photo albums were obviously a popular way of cataloging someone's growth - but those methods are incomparable to the behemoth of data and information that makes up our online social media networks today. If Linklater had thought up the idea for Boyhood today it wouldn't work because it kind of already exists.



It's possible that years from today historians will look back at this film and use the main character, Mason, as the prototypical example of one of the last people to be born into a world not dominated by social media. In interviews Linklater has said that it was important for the film to be from the point of view of the boy and so the scenes that he chose to include were not necessarily landmarks but rather memories that a child would retain. In the film we see the boy going with his sister to buy the newest Harry Potter book the night it comes out, going to a baseball game, and playing on a Wii. These small details are the essence of much of social media today. The number of cupcakes on instagram far outweighs the number of pictures related to traumatic family events or other dramatic occurrences that may be featured in a film.



That is not to say that Boyhood is frivolous or irrelevant but rather that it marks an end. I have no pictures from the days when my parents took me to buy the Harry Potter books at midnight but today my mother snaps an iPhone photo at just about any event my younger brother attends. I can only speculate but it seems likely that more and more memories from childhood will be attached to a corresponding online photo or live tweet and we will all be constructing our own personalized versions of the movie Boyhood.



There's a scene in the film where Mason and his girlfriend Sheena are driving and he complains to her about social media. He says something to the effect of, "People are constantly checking their phones even though they are not that interested in what their friends have to say. Yet they are not fully present in the in-person interactions they're having so they aren't having a whole experience." This seems ironic since the film in many ways mirrors social media: it's a history or biography that is shaped both by reality (the manner in which Ellar grows or, in the case of social media, life in general) and curation (on social media people make many decisions that impact the manner in which they are projected and the film was scripted and conceived by Linklater).



Boyhood is not special because of its universality but rather its specificity. This is not a film about what it means to be a boy, it is a film about what it means to be a boy today in this very peculiar time that happens to coincide with a drastic shift in the manner in which we remember and tell our own stories.

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Afghan Officer Charged With Killing AP Photographer Receives Death Sentence

KABUL, Afghanistan (AP) — A Kabul court announced Wednesday that the Afghan police officer charged with killing Associated Press photographer Anja Niedringhaus and wounding veteran AP correspondent Kathy Gannon has been convicted and sentenced to death.

It was the first court hearing in the case and, under Afghan law, the verdict and sentence are subject to several stages of review.

Six judges at the Kabul District Court found former Afghan police unit commander Naqibullah guilty of murder and treason over the attack in the southeastern city of Khost that targeted the international journalists as they prepared to cover the first round of the country's presidential election. The judges also sentenced Naqibullah, who goes by one name like many other Afghans, to four years in prison for shooting and wounding Gannon in the attack.

The judges ruled Tuesday during a two-hour hearing that followed a three-month police investigation.

Naqibullah, represented by a defense lawyer provided to him by a legal association, argued with the judges before his sentencing, saying at one point that he was "not a normal person." However, judges dismissed his claim after he provided his name, age and the correct date. Naqibullah also denied judges' claims that he once traveled to Pakistan to be trained by extremists, saying he only received medical care while there.

Afghanistan's president must sign off on any execution order. Naqibullah also may appeal within 15 days to a second court and then ultimately to the country's Supreme Court.

Gannon and Niedringhaus traveled to Khost under the protection of Afghan forces and were at a district police headquarters in a village outside the city on April 4 when witnesses say Naqibullah walked up to their hired car, yelled "Allahu Akbar" — God is Great — and fired on them in the back seat with a Kalashnikov assault rifle. He surrendered immediately after the attack.

Witness and official accounts have suggested the shooting was not planned. While in court Tuesday, Naqibullah did not offer a reason why he opened fire.

Niedringhaus, a 48-year-old award-winning photographer who had covered conflict zones from the Balkans in the 1990s to Iraq, Libya and Afghanistan, died instantly of her wounds. Gannon, a 60-year-old senior correspondent for Afghanistan and Pakistan, suffered three gunshot wounds in the attack. She is still recovering from her injuries.

The two had worked together repeatedly in Afghanistan since the 2001 U.S.-led invasion, covering the conflict from some of the most dangerous hotspots of the Taliban insurgency while focusing on the effect war had on civilians.

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A Real Overnight Success

In Allen Salkin's new book, From Scratch: Inside the Food Network, he describes Rachael Ray's rise to TV fame. What I love about his take on her, is that she is the perfect example of the overnight success, that was years in the making. As a TV producer and media consultant, people expect to be an overnight success with very little effort. Yes, there are some folks who come out of no where and do land some fame, but for most of them, they don't have long-lasting staying power.



In a society where becoming a celebrity is actually a profession, I respect and admire someone who works their way to where they arrive.



In our media training workshops, most people think the immediate chemistry is a one-stop-shop, but this moment, as reprinted by Allen Salkin in Emmy magazine, is a perfect example of a lifetime of training:



Rachael Ray: Not An Overnight Success, but Through Hard Knocks, Capitalized on Her Moment



From her first pop on national television, Rachael was gold -- so obviously appealing that you can sense what Lou had heard on the radio simply by reading the transcript from her appearance on Today.

Al Roker: This morning on Today's kitchen, comfort foods of the century. With the kids home from school and a winter that just won't go away -- neither will my friends -- there's nothing better than cuddling up in your flannels with some hot and tasty comfort foods. Rachael Ray, author of Comfort Foods: Rachael Ray's 30 Minute Meals, is here -- you got very excited when I said that.



Rachael Ray: Yeah, it's cool. Al's saying my name. Groovy.



Roker: She's here to show us how to make one-pot dishes.



Ray: Yeah.



Roker: So, now what's the deal? Why are we so excited about comfort foods these days. Rach?



Ray: Well, because they bring everybody back to their beginnings, you know. Comfort foods are as different as wherever you grew up, you know.



Roker: Right.



Ray: My grandfather is from Sicily, so for my mom, a big pot of escarole and beans is comfort foods. My dad's from own South, so for him, jambalaya is comfort foods. Me, I've always lived in the Northeast, so what we're going to make right now is comfort food for me.



Roker: Chicken and dumplings.



Ray: Chicken and dumplings soup.



Roker: All right. How do we get started?



Ray: Okay, well I know you know how to cook, but can you just pretend you don't for a minute, okay?



Roker: Okay, I have an no idea.



Ray: Quick -- quick chopping lesson.



Roker: Uh-huh.



Ray: If you're not comfortable in the kitchen, first thing to do, get a firm grip about whatever your chopping, curl your fingers under so they don't call you lefty.



Roker: Okay.



Ray: Okay? Get a nice sharp knife...

That my friends, is how it's done. Within two minutes, you've learned about where she comes from, what she's going to make and why she's going to make it. In the process, she has captivated her interviewer, told a joke and taught a lesson. It's not as easy as she made it look, but after a childhood in restaurants and years of work, it was easy for her.



TVGuestpert comments:

Rachael knew how to immediately frame her opening sound-bite that set up her expertise, define the segment, and take assertion of the segment in a charming entertaining way while giving the viewer at home invaluable take away information.

If you have a chance to read Salkin's whole piece on Rachael Ray, it says that she didn't get her way either when the Food Network green-lit her show. She had to concede to the idea that she would only do one meal per show instead of three which became the successful ingredient for her signature show.



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Jenna Bush Hager Reveals What She's Learned From 'Gampy' George H.W. Bush

Jenna Bush Hager, daughter of former President George W. Bush and a "Today" contributing correspondent, opened up about the lessons she learned from her "Gampy," former President George H.W. Bush, in a piece for Today News.



Hager tells intimate stories of her grandfather, who recently celebrated his 90th birthday by going skydiving. The new mom told how the former president is still "young at heart," tweeting for the first time at age 89, and she shared how "this summer over dinner he made a hilarious and slightly dirty joke that had the whole table in tears."



Hager also told a touching story about how Bush once put his granddaughters before a major presidential debate:

He has epitomized always putting family first. When we were little, he often babysat us even though he was running for president. Once, when we spent the night at the vice president's house, my sister lost her beloved stuffed cat, Spiky. He was prepping for a debate against Michael Dukakis, but after Barbara declared she couldn't sleep without him, he spent much of the evening searching for the elusive animal.

Read Hager's piece at Today.



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Celebrating Oscar de la Renta's 82nd birthday and the Celebrities he Dresses

Chances are that Sarah Jessica Parker wouldn't ask most designers to prominently embroider their signature in bold red into the train of their white dress. But then again, most designers aren't Oscar de la Renta.



At this year's Met Gala, one of fashion's most important annual events and a key fundraiser for Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute, Parker made sure that reporters and photographers could see de la Renta's red scripted John Hancock was displayed in a big way on her milky white train. "Did you see his name on the back?" said the actress. "I said to Mr. de la Renta, please let me use scarlet embroidery thread, and splash your name across the back. It was my idea. He would never in a million years have done it -- he's far too modest."



The soft-spoken and elegant designer may be modest, but he's also one of our finest. For more than 50 years, he has been the go-to guy for celebrities (Oprah Winfrey, Sandra Bullock, Cameron Diaz) and first ladies (Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Nancy Reagan, Hillary Clinton, and Laura Bush) -- especially for big, big occasions like Oscars and inaugural balls.



De la Renta is the master of swathing women in silk-taffeta and chiffon masterpieces that feel more like pieces of art. As he has famously said, "There is no sound more feminine than a woman in a taffeta dress." His party dresses, with seemingly miles and miles of feather-embroidered tulle and fetching trains, continue to take our breath away. "This man has been working for more than 20 years to turn me into a fashion icon," remarked Hillary Clinton about her pal, who truly made her sparkle in 2001 when she wore his teal silk pantsuit while being sworn in as senator, and even before that made her shine in her 1997 inaugural ball gown. "Year in and year out, he's never given up."



In fact, this past Saturday, more than 60 of de la Renta's stunners went on display at the George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum in Dallas in a retrospective called "Oscar de la Renta: Five Decades of Style," which runs until October 5. On display are gowns he made for Laura Bush, Nancy Reagan, and Hillary Clinton. There's also Jenna Bush's organza wedding dress, and an elaborate pale-blue Cinderella-esque ball gown that Amy Adams wore.



In honor of his 82nd birthday on July 22, look at some of the designer's most glamorous creations. Go to this Parade story to see who dazzles in Oscar de la Renta.



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Tour de France 2014 tickets: Win the chance to watch the final stage in VIP

The Tour de France is fast approaching its thrilling climax and you can be there to watch the final stage from an exclusive VIP vantage point on the Champs Elysees in the heart of Paris.

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Rafal Majka secures his second stage win at the Tour de France

Poland's Rafal Majka has won the 17th stage of the Tour de France in a late breakaway on the last of four tough climbs in the Pyrenees. Vincenzo Nibali trailed by about a minute and gained key seconds on his main rivals as he retained the leader's yellow jersey.

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Mercedes team boss Toto Wolff injured in bike crash ahead of Hungarian Grand Prix

Mercedes boss Toto Wolff suffered a fractured shoulder, collar bone, elbow and wrist during a road bike crash on Tuesday.

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Snoop Dogg, The Roots Express Their Love For HuffPost In This Incredible Freestyle Mashup (VIDEO)

At HuffPost Live, we've had many rappers drop by the studio, and we usually ask them to freestyle about HuffPost. Snoop Dogg, Black Thought of The Roots and Wayne Brady all accepted our challenge and spat a few bars on command. What happened, as you can see in the video above, is off-the-cuff lyrical magic.



The verses are great on their own, but they reach another level in this incredible mashup that features the unlikeliest of backing bands, including David Lee Roth, Linda Perry and a violinist. Check out the magic for yourself, and you'll be humming along for the rest of the day.

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10 No-Fail Dinner Party Conversation Starters

Welcome to another installment of Tipsy Tuesday, The Salonniere's Tuesday feature that provides tips from top salonnieres on all things party-related. Today, we're getting tipsy with the no-fail questions these 10 expert hosts ask to kick-start a conversation at a cocktail or dinner party.



Alexa Hampton, interior designer and author -- I will first ask them to explain to me their work. People usually have a way they explain their job, or how they spend their day, so they can feel comfortable answering this. I also like to ask people what they are reading. Strangely, I think of this as a more personal question.



Teri Agins, fashion writer and Wall Street Journal columnist -- My favorite icebreaker is to find something to compliment them on - their outfit, hairstyle, handbag, shoes... something. I ask them to tell me about it, so the person can't just respond with a simple thank you. Then I jump in with follow-up questions and that usually gets them going.



Carla McDonald, founder, The Salonniere -- If the person is attending with his or her significant other, I like to ask, "How did you two meet?" This always puts the person at ease since it's a happy story and they've told it many times before. Also, it usually reveals enough common ground to keep the conversation rolling along for a while.



Ashley McDermott, writer and philanthropist -- I like to ask, "When and where were you happiest in your life?"



Debi Lilly, event designer and author of A Perfect Event: Inspired, Easy Elegance for Every Occasion -- I find everyone loves to eat and talk about eating and share what and where they've been eating! So I ask, "Have you been to any great new restaurants lately?"



Frederick Anderson, president of lifestyle brand, Hanley Mellon -- I ask, "If you had the opportunity to meet one person you haven't met who would it be, why and what would you talk about?"



Angella Nazaria, best-selling author and philanthropist -- My favorites are, "If you could have an alternate career, what would it be?" and "What was your most embarrassing moment?" The answers always spark a lively conversation.



Kathy Freston, the New York Times best-selling author of books about healthy living -- I can't stand small talk, so I'll turn to the table and say, "Let's talk about something that we can all learn about from one another. What do you think is the driving force in your life?"



Daniel Menaker, author of A Good Talk: The Story and Skill of Conversation -- Compliments are nice as are open-ended questions like, "How do you spend your day?" or "What's new in your world?"



Kimberly Schlegel Whitman, lifestyle and entertaining expert -- I always lean on books or travel. They are my go-to topics. So I'll say, "I'm looking for a good summer read. Have you read anything good lately?"



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Everything You Want to Know About Living Together Before Marriage (But Are Too Afraid To Ask)

For anyone in a long-term relationship, these two statements might sound familiar:



"It's crazy to marry someone without living with them first. You need to test out the relationship!"



"If you want to marry him, don't even think about moving in. He'll have no reason to propose!"



Though opposite sentiments, both pieces of (often unsolicited) advice are strong opinions on the topic of whether you should -- or shouldn't -- live with your partner before marriage.



With an estimated 70 percent of U.S. couples cohabiting and all of the conflicting headlines out there, we looked at the growing body of research on cohabitation and the success of a subsequent marriage -- or likelihood of a marriage at all -- to explore possible answers to the question: Are you doomed to divorce or singledom if you live with a partner before marriage?*



First off, know that the fear of divorce is real.

The topics "cohabiting" and "divorce" are inextricable from one another. As it happens, one often considers both possibilities at the same time. Dr. Sharon Sassler, a professor and social demographer at Cornell University, found this to be the case in her 2011 study when she interviewed 122 people about moving in with a significant other. After evaluating their responses, Sassler noticed that two-thirds of the respondents expressed a fear of divorce, despite the fact that none of the questions specifically addressed divorce.



Even folks whose parents weren't divorced claimed they were cohabiting as a precursor to marriage in order to screen partners for divorce potential. But Sassler pointed out that most of the couples she studied did plan to eventually get married -- they just wanted to have a test run first.



But is "testing out" the relationship a bad idea?

The one problem with these test runs? When you sprint to cross one finish line, you might just accidentally keep running to the next one. This phenomenon, known by researchers as "relationship inertia," is when a couple living together ends up in a bad marriage because, hey, it's really hard to move out once you move in. Merging homes and investing in a joint living space can result in a lot of "sunk costs" that keep couples emotionally and financially invested in relationships that might have ended had the couple not cohabited.



In a 2009 study, Dr. Galena Rhoades, a Research Associate Professor at University of Denver, found that those who cohabited before marriage reported lower marriage satisfaction and more potential for divorce than couples who waited until they were engaged or married to make the big move. Through her research, Rhoades posits that the increase in cohabiting couples is resulting in marriages that simply never would have happened in a non-cohabiting society.



"It's not that everyone who moves in with their partner is going to be at risk for poor marital outcomes," Rhoades told The Huffington Post. "What we have found is that it's really the people who live with someone before they have a clear mutual commitment to getting married."



Rhoades suggested that couples who aren't sure about their relationship find ways other than cohabiting to "test out" the union. Going on a trip together or meeting each other's families are two ways to learn about your partner's daily habits, she said. Most importantly, Rhoades said that couples should have frank conversations before deciding to move in together: Matching expectations is crucial.



What about "sliding into" cohabiting?

Pamela Smock, a Professor of Sociology at the University of Michigan-Ann Arbor and Research Professor at the Population Studies Center, agrees with Rhoades that couples should discuss why they're moving in together. But Smock told The Huffington Post that it's all too common for couples to "slide into" living together -- if you're spending five, then six, then seven nights together, one day you wake up et voila, you're cohabiting.



Plus, with all of the economic benefits to consolidating homes, it's pretty easy for couples to shrug their shoulders and say, "Why not?" rather than parse out what's best for their relationship at that moment, Smock said.



"It's what we call 'unplanned cohabitation,'" Smock explained. "Whereas scholars before were thinking that people were choosing between cohabitation and marriage, we discovered that it's not a rational choice."



Studies have shown that, while small, there's an increased risk of divorce for couples who move in before making that mutual commitment. After years in the field, Smock gleaned that by making a choice to move in, both members of the relationship will be happier -- especially women.



"Women, in particular, won't be feeling like they're being led along," she said. "There are still a lot of old-fashioned thoughts out there about relationships."



Unfortunately, gender roles may still be at play.

While every person's relationship goals differ, regardless of gender, studies have found that women are more likely to see moving in together as a step towards marriage, while men don't seem to have any long-term goals by cohabiting. Plus, in the same 2006 study, Smock found that men were more likely to see the downside of cohabiting as a form of "giving up their freedom." The pitfall for women? That age-old fear: Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?



We may have made it through the sexual revolution, which both Smock and Rhoades credited as the precursor for the rise of cohabiting, but traditional views often exist right alongside this new type of living arrangement. A 2011 study at the University of Cologne in Germany found that women who cohabited with their partners were less happy than married women because, the researchers hypothesized, they believed they had "violated" normal behavior and were being "pitied" for failing to persuade their partners to marry them.



"We can speculate that in such societies, people tend to believe that a woman lives together with her partner out of wedlock not because she doesn't want to marry him but because he doesn't want to marry her," the researchers wrote.



But ultimately, don't let fear control your decision to move in or not.

Before you drive yourself crazy, know that there's no one-size-fits-all answer here. Relationships -- and the people in them -- are unique and ever-changing. Plus, it's such a new phenomenon that the norms are constantly shifting, too. These days, by the age of 20, one in four women between 15 and 44 will have lived with a man. By the time they're 30, three in four women will have done so.



What's more, research released this year found that, if you control for age, many of the previous studies predicting divorce for cohabiters were off the mark: Those who marry young, whether or not they were living together before marriage, have a higher chance of getting divorced. Go figure.



And with cohabitation lasting longer than ever -- 22 months on average -- it seems people are quite content carving out a new romantic path. Government studies have even found that 40 percent of cohabiting couples actually do marry within three years. "Shacking up" might just be the new step before marriage, after all.



"If you want to do a statistical model and predict who will get married, it’s people who are already living together who have the biggest chance," Smock said. "In some sense, cohabitation is supporting marriage, especially now that we find no effect on marital stability."



So whether or not you decide to live with your partner before marriage, know that it's not necessarily a direct path to divorce or eternal singledom. Hopefully, that'll make your decision a tad easier.



*In no way does this presuppose that all folks, women or men, want to (or should want to) get married. We're just addressing all of the rhetoric out there. In the end, there's no "right" thing to do (or want).



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