Thursday, 24 July 2014

The Most Important Lesson I Learned in My First Year of Marriage

As my wife and I approach our first anniversary, I've taken some time to think about all the lessons I've learned over the past year (let's be honest -- all the lessons my wife has taught me). It's not been difficult, since I've recorded many of them on my blog.



There's one lesson I've yet to write about, though. And I happen to believe it's the most important lesson I learned in my first year of marriage.



No, it doesn't have to do with avoiding conflict, like much of what I learned. Instead, it involves the other side of the coin -- resolution.



In any relationship, conflict is inevitable. This is especially true of marriage.



Think of it like a chemical reaction. With marriage, two people are linked together, and in that state they proceed through life -- sleeping, eating, doing everything side by side. Tension is bound to arise.



While conflict comes naturally, resolution does not. It takes practice and skill and work. Hopefully with time we get better at it.



Early in our marriage, I thought forgiveness led to resolution.



My wife and I would get into an argument, and after a while, both of us usually ended up apologizing for something we'd done. What I noticed, though, is while we'd technically forgiven each other, hurt and resentment and bitterness often lingered. Which, of course, led to more conflict.



Forgiveness alone is never enough, because it only pardons a wrong.



Forgiveness is a transaction -- a canceling of a debt, a remission for a wrong. It doesn't heal a wound. It only excuses what caused the wound. But the wound still exists -- aching, throbbing, festering.



Bitterness compounds bitterness. Hurt compounds hurt. Anger compounds anger.



Before long, there's a deep divide separating husband and wife.



Another step is necessary to reach resolution. To make what was once, true again.



That step is reconciliation. And every conflict -- at least every healthy conflict -- must end with it.



Reconciliation takes what is broken and brings healing.



Reconciliation transforms bitterness into peace, resentfulness into harmony, division into unity. Every reconciliation is an allegory of the Resurrection. By its nature, it brings what is dead back to life.



Of course, reconciliation is never easy. It's so much harder than simply apologizing and forgiving. It takes time and patience and humility and, most of all, mutual willingness.



And this is costly -- exceedingly costly -- because it requires surrendering everything that stands between and replacing it with love. Unconditionally.



But reconciliation is perhaps the most beautiful interaction in any relationship. It is the saving resolution to a dramatic crisis. It is the long-awaited reunion of two lost souls. It is the unforeseen twist to a tragedy-turned-romance.



And it is the most important lesson I learned in my first year of marriage.



This post was previously published at PaulPerkins.com.


How have you experienced the transforming power of reconciliation? Comment below.



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Six Year Blues

Almost every president in recent history has experienced what I like to call "The six-year blues." For Reagan it was Iran-Contra, for Clinton it was Monica Lewinsky, and for George W. Bush, it was Iraq and Afghanistan.






President's Truman and Johnson decided they didn't want to run for a second elected term because they were so unpopular. Nixon needs no explanation.






And now, President Obama is suffering from his own version of "the blues." With poll numbers sitting at his lows and a Congress that has basically tuned him out. And even worse, it seems much of the public isn't listening either.






We've seen this play out before. But what sets this president apart from those before him is that he came into office with no apparent vision on the foreign policy front, other than a promise to get us out of wars abroad. Oh, and shutting down Guantanamo. Which still hasn't happened.






Six years in and many wonder why the Obama administration is always reacting rather than leading.






For a president that has enough time to attend multiple high-dollar fundraisers this week, you'd think he might take just a moment to speak directly to the American people about our country's role in some gravely serious situations abroad.






In just the past two weeks it feels like the world is crumbling around us. We've seen the downing of Malaysia Flight 17, Israel's ground invasion against militants in Gaza, and the ongoing uncertainty of ISIS gaining strength in Iraq. If you're anything like me, you're feeling anxious and nervous about how all of this will end.






More than ever, the world is crying out for bold decisive leadership. And they turn to us, the United States, to stand up and lead the way. But President Obama remains cautious and uncertain. Waiting for the dust to settle to see where public opinion falls before taking a stand of his own.






Look, America is war-weary thanks to Iraq and Afghanistan.






I get that. But that doesn't mean we can't act. Right now we are playing from fear and isolation.






Even The Root, a site often on the president's side, wants to be lead. They write, "Mr. President, simply avoiding mistakes is not foreign policy."






It makes the administration seem weak and feckless. The sense that the president is simply reacting to each crisis as it occurs, rather than harnessing a comprehensive global strategy that accommodates the ever-changing political realities of the 21st century, is damaging Obama's foreign policy hopes and his domestic policy credibility.





Mr. President, for too long your approach to foreign policy has been reactive, not proactive. It feels like we're always playing catch-up.






Now is the time to tell us what it is you want us to do. What are our goals? What is most important to us? And how are we going to get there?






Now is the time to make us feel safe and remind the world that we are a strong and resilient nation.






Democratic and Republican presidents did so during the Cold War. Mr. President, take charge and I as one Republican would be willing to follow.






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Washington Post Journalist Reportedly Detained In Iran





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Warning All Bloggers and Video Makers!!!

2014-07-24-ScreenShot20140724at10.19.27AM.png



I have been writing blogs for about seven years now.



I used to use a lot of pictures to illustrate the points I wanted to make.



These were mostly images I found on the web.



If I was talking about a 'Revolution' in video, I might use a painting of the French Revolution.



There was so much stuff on the web. All I had to do was 'Google' image search and there were the choices.



It made the pieces nicer to look at, I thought.



Then, about a year ago, maybe a bit more, I got a big, fat letter from some lawyer. I was being sued for copyright infringement for using a picture without permission.



Well, needless to say, I took the offending picture down.



It didn't make a difference. I was being sued for $150,000. For my blog. For the picture on my blog.



(You will note that I don't have a picture up there today - and as far as I can tell, no one owns 'WARNING', at least not yet.)



When we run the 4-day video bootcamps (coming up in NY and London in September!), we devote an hour on the morning of the third day to a very in-depth lecture on rights and releases. I have to say that while this is probably not the most exciting lecture in the four days, it is without a doubt the most important.



That was proven yesterday when Michelle Phan, Youtube video star, was sued by Ultra Records, which has Kaskade, deadmaus and Calvin Harris as clients. (NB, I have never heard of any of these people, which just goes to show how old I am!)



In any event, it seems that Michelle was using their music for some of her videos, and without the permission of the publisher. (She had, ironically, the permission of the artist. Kaskade, who was nominated for a Grammy last year said he supporter her, but he has no legal standing here. The publisher, Ultra, owns the rights).



According to The BBC, Ultra is suing Michelle for $150,000 for each violation. There are apparently 50 violations. (for those of you bad with math, that comes out to $7.5 million. That's a lot of money! Even for a 'Youtube star.'



There is a generally held perception that the Internet is a digital free for all, open platform, do what you like world. Nothing could be further from the truth, (as this so clearly points out).



There is also a generally held perception that if you get caught using someone else's stuff, all you have to do is 'take it down.' I can tell you from personal experience (we settled out of court after much in the way of legal expenses), this is also not true.



So BE CAREFUL!



And, if you are really smart, take the 4-day bootcamp and take very careful notes on day 3 when Lisa gives you the lecture on rights and releases.



This is no joke!



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Cameron Diaz's Bikini'd Beach Days Continue In Sardinia

Cameron Diaz is enjoying some R&R after promoting her new movie "Sex Tape" last week.



The 41-year-old actress and her rumored beau Benji Madden basked in the gorgeous scenery of Sardinia, Italy on July 24, taking a stroll on the rocks before heading back to their yacht with friends. Diaz wore a teeny mismatched bikini while Madden rocked fish-patterned swim trunks and a muscle-tee.



diaz



cameron



diaz



The couple has been exploring the Amalfi Coast, and was recently spotted in Capri. They also took their love to the beach over the Fourth of July weekend, relaxing in Florida before Diaz's press tour.



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David Gregory Stuck In Third Place As 'Meet The Press' Rumors Swirl

These are surely not the numbers David Gregory was hoping for on Thursday.



The woebegone "Meet The Press" host is weathering one of his worst periods of press coverage, with rumors running rampant that he is due to be ousted from his job within months. (NBC has called the rumors "false.")



If anybody was wondering why Gregory appears to be on such thin ice, they got an answer on Thursday, when Nielsen's weekly roundup of the Sunday talk show ratings was released.



ABC's "This Week" and CBS's "Face the Nation" battled it out for first place in the total viewer category, with ABC pulling well ahead of CBS in the coveted A25-54 demo. "MTP," meanwhile, was stuck in third — not even part of the conversation.



Gregory cannot have been happy to see such dire numbers just as the chattering class was chattering about his looming firing. NBC cannot have been happy either.



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Joe Scarborough Denies Rumors About 'Angling' For David Gregory's Spot

Joe Scarborough denied on Thursday that he and his "Morning Joe" co-host Mika Brzezinski have been pushing to replace David Gregory on "Meet the Press."



Page Six reported on Wednesday that Gregory's run at the Sunday show could be up right after the midterm elections. Since then, rumors have been swirling about who might take his place. Several media outlets reported that the top contenders include NBC News’ chief White House correspondent Chuck Todd as well as the "Morning Joe" duo.



Lloyd Grove at the Daily Beast reported that NBC sources told him that Scarborough and Brzezinski had been "aggressively angling" to replace Gregory, stating that they "believed they had an understanding" with NBC News that they would claim the spot. NBC insiders also said that the network was hesitant to put Scarborough, a former Republican congressman, at the head of a traditionally nonpartisan show, Page Six reported.



Scarborough said in a tweet Thursday that the rumors were "false."










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Essie Introduces Nail Polish Vending Machines So We Now Have No Excuse For Bare Nails

We've all been there: You're standing in front of a vending machine, trying to make the harrowing decision of what to buy, and suddenly, you think to yourself, "Man, I could really use a manicure right now."



OK, so maybe this has never happened to you exactly, but now we can guarantee that it never will. Essie announced Thursday that they will be unveiling the Essie Color Boutique, a nail polish vending machine in airports and malls all over the country.



Oh, and you can say goodbye to the days of not being able to find your favorite color, too. These bad boys come fully stocked with 48 shades, including six seasonal colors, which will be changed quarterly.



The color boutique joins a long list of luxury vending machines that have popped up in recent years, with everything from champagne to handbags. In other words, you now have even more of an excuse to go to the mall.



Check out the answer to all of our chipped-nail woes below.



essie



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Everything Is Not Awesome in LEGOland

2014-07-24-protest_Marc_Abrams14055220161.jpg



LEGO holds a special place in the hearts and minds of children and families around the world. But everything is not awesome in LEGOland. LEGO is partnering with Shell on a global advertising campaign that includes co-branded toys, billboards, celebrity endorsements, videos, and a full-size LEGO Formula One car.



Using toys to advertise any kind of product to kids is wrong. But it's particularly harmful to sell children on Shell, a company with a shameful environmental record that plans to drill for oil in the Alaskan Arctic, one of the most vulnerable places on earth. That's why Greenpeace and the Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood are calling on LEGO to stop working with Shell.



By branding its toys with the Shell logo, LEGO is helping Shell build social capital with adults while cynically building brand loyalty with children. Toys profoundly influence children's desires, values, and aspirations. LEGO's myriad young fans dedicate time, energy, and love to the brand, forming an emotional attachment that can last a lifetime.



Shell knows this.



Co-branding with LEGO is an opportunity to build what marketers call "cradle to grave" brand loyalty for Shell. And that's a frightening thought. Research shows that if you secure brand loyalty when children are young, those positive feelings last into adulthood. Brand loyal customers are less likely to think critically and independently about a company's practices and ethics, which is particularly troubling with a company like Shell that has such environmentally destructive plans for the future.



The global oil giant wants to exploit the melting sea ice to drill for more of the oil that's causing global warming in the first place. Shell first tried to drill in the Alaskan Arctic in 2012, but a series of accidents and mishaps (including the grounding of their 14,000 ton drill ship off of Kodiak Island) led the company to abandon its plans. Shell plans to return to Alaska in 2015, despite dire warnings from scientists around the world that an Arctic oil spill would be catastrophic, and that burning the fossil fuels they might find there will contribute to the Arctic becoming completely ice-free by as early as 2016.



Branding children's play undermines their creativity and their capacity to develop their own ideas and world view. What's particularly pernicious about this partnership is that Shell is undermining children's future capacity to think critically about where and how Shell drills for and markets fossil fuels. Those policies are a threat not just to fragile environments like the Arctic, but also to the rest of us affected by catastrophic climate change.



According to the Guardian, Jørgen Vig Knudstorp, the president and chief executive of Lego, has said: "as we expand globally, we are determined to leave a positive impact on society, and the planet that our children will inherit." Perhaps that's one reason LEGO recently released its 2014 City Arctic Sets, complete with ice blocks and polar bears. But it's the height of hypocrisy for LEGO to celebrate the wonder and beauty of the Arctic while simultaneously promoting a company that threatens its future. If corporations like Shell continue to recklessly pursue fossil fuels in more remote and dangerous places, the next generation of LEGO fans may still be building their own miniature Arctics, but the real one will be gone.



You can help stop this partnership by joining us to Save the Arctic now.



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Wednesday, 23 July 2014

QPR players take break from Germany pre-season tour with waterslide fun

Pre-season training can be the most gruelling part of a footballer's year, but QPR have found a way to make it fun.
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Mercedes chief Toto Wolff to attend Hungarian Grand Prix despite fracturing wrist in cycling accident

Mercedes motorsport boss Toto Wolff is still due to attend this weekend's Hungarian Grand Prix despite sustaining a number of fractures in a cycling accident on Tuesday.
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Manchester City warm up for Sporting Kansas test with open training session

Manchester City players have been kept busy on their pre-season tour of the United States which officially kicks off in the early hours of Thursday morning against Sporting Kansas City.
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Mary Lambert Releases "Secrets' Video

Mary Lambert has some secrets to spill.



In the queer musician's latest music video, "Secrets," Lambert once again seeks to challenge the patriarchal norms by encouraging young girls to not bottle up their secrets. By revealing some of her own secrets, like the fact the she has bipolar disorder and her family is "dysfunctional," Lambert wants to show others that it's ok to be open about the things that are less-than-perfect in their own lives.



Lambert told HitFix:

“I felt like there were a lot of songs coming out about self-empowerment and challenging beauty standards and I wanted to write a song along those same lines, but in my voice. There is so much shame and guilt in our society and I think it has deprived a lot of people from living fully. We are all facing battles... We’ve all had someone who has hurt us. So let’s talk bout it.”



Check out the video for "Secrets" above. Want to see more from Lambert? Check out "Body Love."



(h/t Towleroad)
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'Naked' Bridesmaids Photo Is Not What It Seems

Let's play a game called, "Unfortunate Camera Angle or Naked Wedding?"



Here's the photo:











Answer: Unfortunate camera angle!



This photo was posted to Reddit Monday with the caption, "Never let your bridesmaids go strapless."



Duly noted.



Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Weddings on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. Sign up for our newsletter here.



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Michael Moore's Divorce From Wife Kathleen Glynn Is Final

BELLAIRE, Mich. (AP) — Filmmaker Michael Moore's divorce from Kathleen Glynn has been finalized, ending their two-decade-long marriage.



Moore filed a divorce complaint on June 17, 2013, in Michigan's Antrim County, where the couple has a lakefront home. According to a document posted to the county circuit court's website, a consent judgment of divorce was entered and the case closed Tuesday.



Moore's filing from last year said his relationship with Glynn had broken down and there remained "no reasonable likelihood that the marriage" could be preserved.



Moore and Glynn married in Flint in 1991. Glynn is listed as producer or executive producer for many of Moore's hard-hitting documentary films, including "Fahrenheit 9/11," ''Sicko" and "Capitalism: A Love Story."



The Associated Press left messages Wednesday seeking comment from lawyers for Moore and Glynn.



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I Don't Want Your Apology. I Want You to Think Before You Tweet.

Bill Maher recently expressed his opinions on Twitter regarding the tensions in the Middle East by likening Hamas, the Palestinian militant group, to a "crazy woman" that "you just have to slap."



Naturally, there was a bit of an uproar over his sexist comment that seemed to make light of domestic violence.
























Other journalists have taken note of Bill Maher's tweet making light of domestic violence. Washington Post daily blogger/weekly columnist Alexandra Petri wrote, "Violence against women, as a hilarious joke premise, went out of style somewhere between the passenger pigeon and the Pole joke."



But the question is: Why are celebrities and comedians and people in general continuing to say jokes that demean and belittle women? Even worse than making a joke is having a horrific event become a viral trend. Sixteen-year-old Houston native Jada found out she was raped after pictures of her limp body appeared online. Within 24 hours, the hashtag #Jadapose increased in popularity with people posing on the floor in a similar position as Jada when she was unconscious. The recent launch of the hashtag #IamJada shows that there are people out there who are standing up for Jada.



However, Bill Maher wasn't the only one in hot water this past weekend over a social media post. Rihanna and NBA all-star Dwight Howard were called out for tweeting "#FreePalestine" before quickly deleting their posts, respectively, after thousands of RTs and favorites had accumulated.










Regarding the Malaysia Airlines Boeing 777 that was confirmed to have been shot down in Ukraine, Jason Biggs then tweeted an inappropriate joke, "Anyone wanna buy my Malaysian Airlines frequent flier miles?"



Biggs appeared on HuffPost Live this past Monday after the repercussions of his social media posts and said to host Alyona Minkovski:



"You just need to think about what you put out there. Because people can get hurt and that's what happened, that's what I did -- I hurt some people. And that's not my intent, that's never my intent, so yeah, moving forward I need to not be stupid."





Rihanna, Dwight Howard and Jason Biggs all have respectively sent out apologies (or a more sincere post) over Twitter. But is an apology enough?



Rihanna:








Dwight Howard:















Jason Biggs:





























With the resulting backlash one has to wonder: Why make the statement at all? Why feel the need to tweet something immediately instead of sleeping on it, or even waiting five minutes and actually considering whether it's something that should be sent out into the world?



Too often it seems as if celebrities and politicians (as well as everyday people) can say whatever they want and if something goes wrong with what they say they simply air out an apology (or even if they don't have an apology), and all is forgiven and we move on with our lives.



Sometimes a celebrity tweets a comment and they just don't know anything about the matter at hand and their ignorance is evident. Actor Ashton Kutcher reacted to the firing of Penn State coach Joe Paterno before learning the details of the Sandusky trial in 2012 by tweeting: "How do you fire Jo Pa? #insult #noclass as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste," which has since been deleted. After uproar broke about this tweet, Kutcher apologized and said he's given the reins of his Twitter account to a PR team.



Other times a tweet is sent out when the celebrity is not completely sober or too exhausted to be able to make a comment. Lena Dunham appeared as host of "Saturday Night Live" this past March and parodied her numerous nude appearances on "Girls" by dressing up as Eve from the Garden of Eden. Twitter user @Bobbythornton tweeted that she didn't always have to get naked, and Dunham replied with a tasteless molestation joke, which Buzzfeed editor Rachel Zarrell saved below.










Lena Dunham has since apologized and said that she was "really sleepy" when she sent out the tweets:
























Sometimes celebrities make horrible jokes in response to a tragedy, like Gilbert Gottfried regarding the 2011 tsunami and earthquake that happened in Japan. Buzzfeed made a list of the 10 worst Gilbert Gottfried tsunami jokes and here's one of the worst ones he tweeted: "I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, 'There'll be another one floating by any minute now.'"



Gottfried was ridiculed for these jokes saying it was too soon after the tragic event, and the insurance agency he worked for fired him and he no longer plays the voice of the iconic Aflac Duck. Gottfried did apologize afterward (from People):



"I sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by my attempt at humor regarding the tragedy in Japan. I meant no disrespect, and my thoughts are with the victims and their families."





Celebrities shouldn't have to keep giving these apologies, because they should really be thinking and using common sense before they tweet. They should realize they have power because of their celebrity. So ,whether they acknowledge it or not, their words have a wider audience than the average person. Whatever they say can and will be viewed under a microscopic lens.



Twitter is an efficient social media platform to use when talking about events live or making comments in real-time. The chances of making an inappropriate tweet are much higher during or directly following a large-scale event (especially with a trending hashtag).



I understand people mess up. I get that people say stupid things. I know that people get angry and say hurtful things and then apologize for said hurtful things. But with the rise of social media and the power of a screenshot, or a recording of an interview, or a clipping of the printed word, it should really encourage celebrities (and everyone in general) to be careful with what they say.



There are apologies over scandals, cheating, divorce, sexts, nude shots, rude comments. There are so many celebrities who have apologized on Twitter, or in general. There are the half-assed apologies (we've all experienced those) that somehow manage to still count. You have to watch what you say, watch what you wear, watch what you text or type or send. Everything can be captured as a screenshot or recorded and saved forever, with no chance of it disappearing.



Bill Maher wrote an op-ed for The New York Times in 2012 titled "Please Stop Apologizing" about this exact topic. He wrote:



When did we get it in our heads that we have the right to never hear anything we don't like? In the last year, we've been shocked and appalled by the unbelievable insensitivity of Nike shoes, the Fighting Sioux, Hank Williams Jr., Cee Lo Green, Ashton Kutcher, Tracy Morgan, Don Imus, Kirk Cameron, Gilbert Gottfried, the Super Bowl halftime show and the ESPN guys who used the wrong cliché for Jeremy Lin after everyone else used all the others. Who can keep up?





This is an interesting perspective to have. Why are we keeping up with celebrity apologies? Shouldn't we be actively trying to decrease the number of statements made that would, in effect, result in an apology rather than resigning ourselves to the fact that we are fighting an uphill battle? There are dozens of celebrity apologies already out there and history will continue to repeat itself regarding apologies.



I don't want to keep seeing and reading celebrity apologies. I want celebrities (and everyone, really) to think before they tweet.



Maher continues:



I don't want to live in a country where no one ever says anything that offends anyone. That's why we have Canada. That's not us. If we sand down our rough edges and drain all the color, emotion and spontaneity out of our discourse, we'll end up with political candidates who never say anything but the safest, blandest, emptiest, most unctuous focus-grouped platitudes and cant [sic]. In other words, we'll get Mitt Romney.





Though that was a more of a political spin than a statement on apologies (this was made in 2012 after all), the message is clear. We need those sharp edges that ruffle our feathers every once in a while. However, it's imperative that we are considerate when making those statements. Bill Maher kept the edges rough with his domestic violence joke, however it was viewed as tasteless and it breaches an even bigger concern: Why do we continue to not think about the repercussions before we speak or tweet?



Because now more than ever that comment, picture, recording, etc. will not go away. It will live forever.



And no apology will ever be able to take it back.



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Portia De Rossi Is Joining 'Scandal' In A Top Secret Arc

It looks like "Arrested Development" star Portia de Rossi is joining the "Scandal" gang next season.



On Wednesday, Ellen DeGeneres tweeted that her wife will appear on "Scandal" in a "top secret arc":










"Scandal" Writers confirmed the news as well:










Neither de Rossi's rep nor ABC immediately responded to HuffPost's request for comment. In the time being, don't trust Ellen with any secrets.


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I Don't Want Your Apology. I Want You to Think Before You Tweet.

Bill Maher recently expressed his opinions on Twitter regarding the tensions in the Middle East by likening Hamas, the Palestinian militant group, to a "crazy woman" that "you just have to slap."



Naturally, there was a bit of an uproar over his sexist comment that seemed to make light of domestic violence.
























Other journalists have taken note of Bill Maher's tweet making light of domestic violence. Washington Post daily blogger/weekly columnist Alexandra Petri wrote, "Violence against women, as a hilarious joke premise, went out of style somewhere between the passenger pigeon and the Pole joke."



But the question is: Why are celebrities and comedians and people in general continuing to say jokes that demean and belittle women? Even worse than making a joke is having a horrific event become a viral trend. Sixteen-year-old Houston native Jada found out she was raped after pictures of her limp body appeared online. Within 24 hours, the hashtag #Jadapose increased in popularity with people posing on the floor in a similar position as Jada when she was unconscious. The recent launch of the hashtag #IamJada shows that there are people out there who are standing up for Jada.



However, Bill Maher wasn't the only one in hot water this past weekend over a social media post. Rihanna and NBA all-star Dwight Howard were called out for tweeting "#FreePalestine" before quickly deleting their posts, respectively, after thousands of RTs and favorites had accumulated.










Regarding the Malaysia Airlines Boeing 777 that was confirmed to have been shot down in Ukraine, Jason Biggs then tweeted an inappropriate joke, "Anyone wanna buy my Malaysian Airlines frequent flier miles?"



Biggs appeared on HuffPost Live this past Monday after the repercussions of his social media posts and said to host Alyona Minkovski:



"You just need to think about what you put out there. Because people can get hurt and that's what happened, that's what I did -- I hurt some people. And that's not my intent, that's never my intent, so yeah, moving forward I need to not be stupid."





Rihanna, Dwight Howard and Jason Biggs all have respectively sent out apologies (or a more sincere post) over Twitter. But is an apology enough?



Rihanna:








Dwight Howard:















Jason Biggs:





























With the resulting backlash one has to wonder: Why make the statement at all? Why feel the need to tweet something immediately instead of sleeping on it, or even waiting five minutes and actually considering whether it's something that should be sent out into the world?



Too often it seems as if celebrities and politicians (as well as everyday people) can say whatever they want and if something goes wrong with what they say they simply air out an apology (or even if they don't have an apology), and all is forgiven and we move on with our lives.



Sometimes a celebrity tweets a comment and they just don't know anything about the matter at hand and their ignorance is evident. Actor Ashton Kutcher reacted to the firing of Penn State coach Joe Paterno before learning the details of the Sandusky trial in 2012 by tweeting: "How do you fire Jo Pa? #insult #noclass as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste," which has since been deleted. After uproar broke about this tweet, Kutcher apologized and said he's given the reins of his Twitter account to a PR team.



Other times a tweet is sent out when the celebrity is not completely sober or too exhausted to be able to make a comment. Lena Dunham appeared as host of "Saturday Night Live" this past March and parodied her numerous nude appearances on "Girls" by dressing up as Eve from the Garden of Eden. Twitter user @Bobbythornton tweeted that she didn't always have to get naked, and Dunham replied with a tasteless molestation joke, which Buzzfeed editor Rachel Zarrell saved below.










Lena Dunham has since apologized and said that she was "really sleepy" when she sent out the tweets:
























Sometimes celebrities make horrible jokes in response to a tragedy, like Gilbert Gottfried regarding the 2011 tsunami and earthquake that happened in Japan. Buzzfeed made a list of the 10 worst Gilbert Gottfried tsunami jokes and here's one of the worst ones he tweeted: "I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, 'There'll be another one floating by any minute now.'"



Gottfried was ridiculed for these jokes saying it was too soon after the tragic event, and the insurance agency he worked for fired him and he no longer plays the voice of the iconic Aflac Duck. Gottfried did apologize afterward (from People):



"I sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by my attempt at humor regarding the tragedy in Japan. I meant no disrespect, and my thoughts are with the victims and their families."





Celebrities shouldn't have to keep giving these apologies, because they should really be thinking and using common sense before they tweet. They should realize they have power because of their celebrity. So ,whether they acknowledge it or not, their words have a wider audience than the average person. Whatever they say can and will be viewed under a microscopic lens.



Twitter is an efficient social media platform to use when talking about events live or making comments in real-time. The chances of making an inappropriate tweet are much higher during or directly following a large-scale event (especially with a trending hashtag).



I understand people mess up. I get that people say stupid things. I know that people get angry and say hurtful things and then apologize for said hurtful things. But with the rise of social media and the power of a screenshot, or a recording of an interview, or a clipping of the printed word, it should really encourage celebrities (and everyone in general) to be careful with what they say.



There are apologies over scandals, cheating, divorce, sexts, nude shots, rude comments. There are so many celebrities who have apologized on Twitter, or in general. There are the half-assed apologies (we've all experienced those) that somehow manage to still count. You have to watch what you say, watch what you wear, watch what you text or type or send. Everything can be captured as a screenshot or recorded and saved forever, with no chance of it disappearing.



Bill Maher wrote an op-ed for The New York Times in 2012 titled "Please Stop Apologizing" about this exact topic. He wrote:



When did we get it in our heads that we have the right to never hear anything we don't like? In the last year, we've been shocked and appalled by the unbelievable insensitivity of Nike shoes, the Fighting Sioux, Hank Williams Jr., Cee Lo Green, Ashton Kutcher, Tracy Morgan, Don Imus, Kirk Cameron, Gilbert Gottfried, the Super Bowl halftime show and the ESPN guys who used the wrong cliché for Jeremy Lin after everyone else used all the others. Who can keep up?





This is an interesting perspective to have. Why are we keeping up with celebrity apologies? Shouldn't we be actively trying to decrease the number of statements made that would, in effect, result in an apology rather than resigning ourselves to the fact that we are fighting an uphill battle? There are dozens of celebrity apologies already out there and history will continue to repeat itself regarding apologies.



I don't want to keep seeing and reading celebrity apologies. I want celebrities (and everyone, really) to think before they tweet.



Maher continues:



I don't want to live in a country where no one ever says anything that offends anyone. That's why we have Canada. That's not us. If we sand down our rough edges and drain all the color, emotion and spontaneity out of our discourse, we'll end up with political candidates who never say anything but the safest, blandest, emptiest, most unctuous focus-grouped platitudes and cant [sic]. In other words, we'll get Mitt Romney.





Though that was a more of a political spin than a statement on apologies (this was made in 2012 after all), the message is clear. We need those sharp edges that ruffle our feathers every once in a while. However, it's imperative that we are considerate when making those statements. Bill Maher kept the edges rough with his domestic violence joke, however it was viewed as tasteless and it breaches an even bigger concern: Why do we continue to not think about the repercussions before we speak or tweet?



Because now more than ever that comment, picture, recording, etc. will not go away. It will live forever.



And no apology will ever be able to take it back.
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11 Suprising Facts About Internet Superstar George Takei

Not everyone can successfully play the social media game, let alone someone in their 70s. George Takei, best known for his iconic role as Enterprise helmsmen Hikaru Sulu on "Star Trek," has spent the last few years working as an LGBTQ advocate with incredibly funny and poignant accounts on major social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr.



Despite the Japanese-American star's ever-growing Internet presence and outspokenness on both past and current views, there are still some obscure facts that you might not know about this incredibly talented man.



1. He's named after royalty.



Takei's father was a major Anglophile, so he named both of his sons after members of the British royal family. George is named after King George VI, whose coronation was just a few weeks after George's birth in 1937. His brother is named Henry Takei after the infamous King Henry VIII. His sister, Nancy Reiko Takei, managed to avoid the naming trend.



2. He spent part of his childhood in an internment camp.



As a Japanese-American family living in California in the 1940s, the Takeis were placed in an internment camp, first in their home state, then in Arkansas. Takei was 5 years old when he entered, and 8 when they were released. Even though he was just a child, his experiences there deeply shaped who he is as a person, and even inspired the new musical "Allegiance," starring Takei. Plans are that "Allegiance" will arrive on Broadway soon.



3. His first acting jobs were voice overs.



Given the small number of roles available to Asian actors in Hollywood, it's not surprising that Takei's first roles were not on-screen gigs. According to IMDb, Takei's very first job was as an uncredited voice actor for the film "Godzilla Raids Again," followed by another uncredited role in "Rodan." Takei's big break came in 1959, when he starred in an episode of the hit crime show “Perry Mason,” nearly seven years before he landed the part of Hikaru Sulu on "Star Trek."



4. Takei and Walter Koenig weren't always close.



takei koenig



Fans of Takei know of his rocky relationship with "Star Trek" co-star William Shatner, but you may not know that he and co-star Walter Koenig got off to a rough start. Takei had to miss nine episodes of the show's second season because of his work on "The Green Berets." Koenig was brought on as Pavel Chekhov to replace Sulu, which Takei was no happy about. In an interview with Mother Jones, Takei said, "When I came back [to the show] I hated Walter sight unseen." The two had to share a dressing room and a script when Takei returned, but soon they became close friends. Koenig was even best man at Takei's wedding in 2008.



5. He was involved in a lot of local politics.



Takei was not only involved in Hollywood, but also in Los Angeles politics. He ran for City Council in 1973 and lost, but was appointed to the board of directors of the Southern California Rapid Transit District by Mayor Tom Bradley. He served from 1973 to 1984, and was also the vice president of the American Public Transit Association. And he didn't only work to better the Southern Californian community; he also served two terms on the board of the Japan-United States Friendship Commission in the 1990s, appointed by President Bill Clinton.



6. He only came out recently.



george takei gay



Takei's involvement in LGBTQ activism makes up a big part of who he is today, but he wasn't always involved in the movement. In fact, he didn't officially come out as gay until 2005, after Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed a same sex marriage bill. He told The Huffington Post he then knew it was time to reveal his orientation: "I was angry, but I couldn’t speak out without coming out. My voice had to be authentic. And so that’s when I talked to Frontiers [magazine]."



7. He co-wrote a science fiction novel.



Takei is not stranger to the literary world, having written "To the Stars: The Autobiography of George Takei, Star Trek's Mr. Sulu," "Oh Myyy!: There Goes The Internet" and "Lions and Tigers and Bears: The Internet Strikes Back." What you may not know is that he co-wrote a science fiction novel with author Robert Asprin entitled "Mirror Friend, Mirror Foe." The plot follows a professional killer and his fight for survival after a computer reprograms all the others around the world to destroy humanity. Gene Roddenberry would be proud.



8. He starred in a "Twilight Zone" episode you've probably never seen.

george takei twilight zone



Like his "Star Trek" co-star William Shatner, Takei appeared on the famous 1960s show "The Twilight Zone," but his episode only aired once in the United States, on May 1, 1964. The episode was entitled "The Encounter," about a World War II vet and a Japanese gardener getting locked in an attic together and dealing with their personal demons. The episode received a lot of complaints due to the gardener's backstory and its portrayal of Japanese-Americans. It was then pulled from syndication in America, though not anywhere else. It can be found on the Season 5 DVDs as well as on Netflix.



9. He's a skilled marathoner and fencer.



Takei's hobbies are not limited to acting and local politics. Takei is a skilled athlete, who showed off his fencing skills on "Star Trek." He also was on the track team during his high school days as a long distance runner. Along with completing five marathons, he was part of the Olympic Torch Relay for the 1984 summer games.



10. He has his own brand of cologne.

george takei cologne



Celebrity scents are a dime a dozen, but they typically belong to young actors looking to bank on their names, not a seasoned science-fiction star. But if anyone could pull it off, it would be Takei. His scent, Eau My, is a unisex scent described as "subtle and charming, with top notes of mandarin zest, Italian bergamot and fresh ozone transitioning to night-blooming jasmine, white freesia petals and grated ginger." Just in case you were looking for a new signature fragrance.



11. "Oh my!" became his catchphrase because of Howard Stern.



It may be hard to believe but Takei's signature "Oh my!" was not originally meant to be his catchphrase. He uttered the words during an interview on Howard Stern's radio show, and Stern captured it as soundbite for his show before Takei came on as an announcer in 2006. The phrase became associated with the actor, who in turn embraced it as his go-to motto.
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Mark Ruffalo Has His Lost Wallet Returned By Stranger After Twitter Exchange

Just when you think the world is only full of bad news and depressing stories, the smallest acts of common decency can really brighten your day.



Take Mark Ruffalo, who got a big surprise after he lost his wallet last week: The actor learned that sometimes you can depend on strangers when a man tweeted at him saying he found his wallet in a cab and wanted to know how he could return it:










"@Trezeduet thank you! Wow! Another point for the decency in people," the 46-year-old actor replied, and asked the Twitter user to send him a direct message. He added, " You are a hero!"



TMZ identified the kind Twitter user as Ross McHale, who apparently didn't recognize Ruffalo's name and had to Google him to see how he could get in touch to return the wallet.
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