Rationalising "goodbye"... the good, the bad, the ugly and the selfish

If I could make it fifteen minutes without bursting into tears at the moment, I'd be a happy camper. July 2016 has officially become the month of hard goodbyes. There are the goodbyes that make you happy, happy for new beginnings for some, and the goodbyes that are seemingly the last and final words exchanged between two people. Each is hard in its own way, and none are altogether welcome, but somehow I've managed to pull it all into perspective. 

Today, I tried my damnedest to keep myself together as I said goodbye to someone who has become my best friend over the past seven years. She's no shrinking violet and we've made no effort to disguise our ridiculous sister-wife love for each other over the years, parading ourselves across instagram, the blog and snapchat. Some of my happiest London memories, since moving here 14 years ago, have been spent alongside one Laetitia Wajnapel (known to many as Mademoiselle Robot). And today I had to hug her and try not to smear my mascara over the side of her cheek as tears freely streamed down my face. Lil' Letty is moving to Los Angeles to pursue a dream of living and working in one of her favorite places on earth. After visiting Los Angeles a few times with The Robot, I've seen first hand how she blossoms in such an amazing city. This goodbye, as hard as it was, is most definitely a goodbye that fills my heart with joy. I went home and cried a little more, mostly because I was feeling sorry for myself. I was sad to have my "shoulder to cry on" move so bloody far away. This was a selfish goodbye - as are most. But, it is the goodbye that I consider the "good." She's gone for now, but certainly not forever. So how I do say this goodbye? Well, there isn't an easy way to say it and there never is. But, I go home and think to myself that I'm sad because I'm losing a friend and that truly there is only happiness to be found in a best friend finding happiness elsewhere. And there's always a silver lining - I now have a place to shack up in LA whenever I need one. 

Now onto the bad...

For me, the bad goodbyes are usually the ones that could be the last goodbyes. As I get older, and as I see my parents get older, I start to see that saying "the last goodbye" is something that never gets easier, but does tend to get more regular. Whenever I go home, I see relatives when I can. I see them getting older and more fragile and more often than not, the discussion of "this may be the last time you see them..." becomes routine. I say goodbye and tears come and I try to understand why it is that some people come into our lives and make such a dent in our hearts and then leave. Then I realize I'm once again being selfish. How lucky am I to have had them in my life at all, even for just a moment? How do I say this goodbye? I step back and thank the universe for bringing them into my life at all. I realize that I'm blessed to have an opportunity to say goodbye, or to at least recognize how special this last moment may be for both parties. I say goodbye hoping it's not our last, just the last here in this time and place. 

And so we reach the ugly...

My ugliest goodbyes have always been with my pets. There is a certain cruelty in having to say goodbye to an animal and not being able to explain to that kind heart why it is you are parting. For any human being that has ever had to look into a dog's eyes while putting them to sleep, you will know that nothing can prepare you for this moment. You haven't had a chance to chat about the forthcoming event. You haven't been able to explain that the pain will get worse, the quality of life will dissipate and that you are doing what you have to do because of the love you have for this little being. All you see are two loving eyes looking back at you and the tears that come with this are most definitely described as ugly, harsh and heartbreaking. And you know what? This goodbye is selfish too. You feel bad because you can't really say goodbye, not a goodbye they'll understand anyway. You feel selfish because you have played God and taken a life, because you didn't want your pet to suffer. You feel selfish because you want that animal there with you now and instead it's gone forever.  

In my experience in saying the many goodbyes I have over the past 36 years, I can definitely say that not one has been easy. If something is worthwhile saying goodbye to of course it will be hard and it will tug at the heart strings. But most of the time goodbyes come with a spoonful of perspective, a moment to reflect and to appreciate everything that you have been given in this life and how lucky you are to have something so precious that it can be missed at all. 

As Dr. Suess is famous for saying, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." Goodbyes may be ugly, but the experience is what makes life beautiful. Enough sentiment. Pass me a glass of wine and a tissue. 

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Exploring The Royal Exchange, London

When was the last time you played tourist in your own home town? Over the past couple of months I have had the great opportunity to truly explore my surroundings in London. I've visited neighbourhoods, treasured shopping streets and cherished British events, all in an effort to experience and share the creme de la creme of London life. Today, I bring you a lunchtime look at, perhaps one of my favorite London locations, The Royal Exchange. 

I feel it's only appropriate to start with a little background here, as the Royal Exchange could fill an encyclopedia with its role in British history. The Royal Exchange begins its life in 1566, is officially opened by the Queen of England in 1571 and even sees a proclamation of a King on its hallowed steps in 1901. And that's just the Royal history. It's survived World Wars, has even lived through city traders shouting through the great hall and now finds itself reinvented as a place where the population of the city enjoys the luxurious side of its surroundings. Yes, the Royal Exchange has been beautifully transformed to house dozens of luxury shops, a handful of outstanding bars and, what has become, one of my favourite burgers in the city. There is so much to see and do here that I found it only appropriate to put together a guide for locals and tourists alike. One could, quite conceivably, spend every lunchtime at The Royal Exchange and find something new to experience daily. 

With all that in mind, here's my top eight experiences at The Royal Exchange in London. In no particular order, these are all moments that can be fit into a lunch hour or drawn out over a longer period of time, depending on your need for luxurious pampering. 

1. Coffee and Cocktails!

You know how I said I wasn't ranking in order of importance? Well, in my opinion, a great cocktail option should always come first on any city guide. Coffee connoisseurs and the cocktail crazed amongst us will equally love this announcement. The famed coffee house, The Grind, have recently opened at The Royal Exchange, and they are not only fueling the city with some powerful espressos, they're also offering a cocktail menu after noon. My advice? Go for the Espresso Martini. Not only is it simple sensational, it's also on offer for half price this week in the Exchange. Oh, and if you're an interiors addict, you will obsess over this insanely perfect interior design.

2. Get lost in fragrance, complete with a complimentary hand & arm massage

I've made no secret of the fact that I am a Jo Malone addict. I could spend all day in these shops across London. But, The Royal Exchange has opened my eyes to a 20 minute experience that has me wishing my offices were within walking distance of this location. For 20 minutes I sat upstairs, in a private room, with a Jo Malone fragrance expert who gave me a hand and arm massage that quite honestly transformed my entire outlook on the day. It also convinced me that I needed to invest in two Jo Malone fragrances. While the experience itself is completely free (and bookable by telephone), I doubt any soul will be able to exit without a fragrance purchase in hand. These ladies are experts at matching you with your dream scent and the massage is just the cherry on this sweet smelling cake. Get in there for a lunch break and I promise your afternoon will be completely transformed, no matter the circumstances that await you back at the office.

3. Nothing says lovin' like a little blue box!

This may be my American side coming through, but I must admit that a little blue box solves all problems. Truly, the Tiffany blue is a thing of legend. It's managed to get many a man out of the bad books and continues to act as a luxury layer for men and women alike, whether on the hunt for diamonds or a fine watch. Tiffany's at The Royal Exchange, located on the ground floor, offers a unique buying experience for anyone looking for either a quick purchase or a long term investment... can you say engagement ring? The salespeople here have seen it all and are prepared to help you with just about any situation you bring to the glass cabinets. In your lunch hour, mountains can pretty much be moved here to insure you leave a happy customer. After 20 minutes I was convinced I needed every piece of the T Collection and most certainly needed an East West watch. Mr. FFG is in trouble. 

4. A blissful burger with a view

I take burgers as seriously as most women take diamonds. It's just a thing. I can't help myself. So when I say that it's worth stopping into the Grand Cafe at The Royal Exchange to try the cheeseburger, you need to take this recommendation seriously. This is a mean bit of meat and it comes with one heck of a good view overlooking the main hall. Bite by bite you can organize your plan of attack on the luxury stores below. It's all about shopping with a focus, and you need energy to do that properly, right? If you are looking for great concentration, perhaps you should leave your cocktail experience to the later hours in the day with the Grand Cafe. Their Wimbledon concoctions are deliciously deadly.

6. Sample award winning chocolates

A word about Paul A. Young - if you are on a diet, stay clear. Truly, this is the place where diets go to commit suicide. One step inside and the scent alone will be Weight Watchers' worst nightmare. Of course Paul A. Young isn't your average chocolatier. Oh no. This man has won multiple awards for his inventions in chocolate. While his salted caramel is perhaps the most famous of his works of art, his more daring combinations are positively inspired. Who would have ever thought you could bite into a chocolate that is inspired by a Pimms cup? Or how about peanut butter and jelly? There's even something for Marmite enthusiasts. But, for the purpose of quick fixes, I'll say there are three things you can do in 20 minutes or less with Paul A. Young. First up, you can stock a box of goodies for a loved one, taking great advice from members of staff on what people the world over love in a box of chocolates. Second, you can grab one of the best ice creams in the city - that is if you love rich and wonderful chocolate. I doubt I'll hear anyone arguing that. Last, but certainly not least, you can enjoy a bubbling hot hot chocolate so rich it's like drinking an actual bar of chocolate. Willy Wonka, eat your heart out.

7. Show love for Lulu

"Put on your pearls, girls," and get thee to Lulu Guinness. Men - you can't go wrong with a Lulu Guinness purchase as a gift for the special lady in your life, and ladies, be careful when you enter this shop as your American Express will hurt by the end of the experience. Of course Lulu Guinness is perhaps most well known for her statement red lips, that come in the form of everything from a  clutch to a closure on a larger tote. There's also luggage on offer, great smaller accessories and a team of women on hand to make sure you don't leave the shop empty handed. This is a classic and well-loved British brand that deserves every bit of recognition it receives. Whether you are looking for a last minute red carpet accessory or a weekend bag for a quick getaway, Lulu Guinness is the perfect lunchtime fashion filler. 

8. Keeping it personal

I have always thought that the best gift to give anyone, to show true thought with the object in hand, is with an element of personalization. Somehow personalizing an item meant you took time and effort to purchase such a piece well in advance of the main event. Well, Smythson at The Royal Exchange have offered up that service for people who are more last minute in their approach to gifting. You can rush into Smythson, on your lunch hour, and pick out a leather wallet, notebook, passport holder and more, and have the items personalized there, on the spot. Your only tough spot might be in making a decision on what to buy as there is so much on offer. The Panama wall alone is quite daunting, albeit colorful. But, staff are on hand to help with any task you lay before them. I've yet to meet a living soul that didn't adore everything that Smythson has to offer - it's a win-win. 

Of course this is all just scratching the service. There's much more to discover at The Royal Exchange. View their entire store listing to see what else is on offer and get shopping!

Fashion Foie Gras worked in collaboration with The Royal Exchange.

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The Absolutely Fabulous Diet Coke Red Carpet Experience

So here's the score. A couple of weeks ago I got an email from the ladies over at Diet Coke. They asked if I'd be interested in attending the Absolutely Fabulous World Premiere in London and if I'd like to make it extra fabulous by being dressed, head to toe, in pieces from Liberty London - the famous London Department Store. What do you think I said? You're right, I passed on the opportunity. AS IF! I was straight in there and it went a little something like this. 

First, I stopped by the Absolutely Fabulous Diet Coke windows outside Liberty, to pay homage to the ladies and brand, and found myself getting more excited than I would have thought possible. Ab Fab, me, Diet Coke in hand and a red carpet (rumoured to actually be gold) await. Pinch me, no really. These women were half the reason, for better or worse, that I pursued a career in PR, which lasted for over a decade. Wouldn't they have been proud? 

In I stepped, into the hallowed halls of this famed London department store. For those of you that have never been in Liberty, mark this as a must visit if you're new to town. Their edit is insane and stepping into the store truly is like stepping into a time machine. For all the times I've visited Liberty,  however, I've never before entered the personal shopping suites. That was all about to change. I spent the morning working with Diet Coke and the stylists at Liberty selecting the perfect outfit that would fit right in on the premiere carpet for Ab Fab.

I tried everything. This is for Absolutely Fabulous, after all, and these ladies would wear just about anything and everything. At first, I thought casual might be better. Wear something bright and attention grabbing - hence the tassels, the stripes and the bright red trousers. I was looking for quirky yet stylish. In the end, it came down to a dual between two rather fabulous dresses- one of sparkles and the other a complete colour pop. Can you guess which one won the game? Scroll below to see. In the end it was all about the accessories.

So then we have the big event itself. The crowd gathering in Leicester Square was immense; the carpet was indeed gold; and there was a large population of drag queens ahead of us in line that were stealing all the outfit attention. These ladies defined the words "absolutely fabulous." When we finally made our way onto the gold carpet, each and every one of the ladies from Diet Coke was bringing some serious style to the premiere show. Eat your hearts out, paps. 

We all made our way inside, having witnessed Jennifer Saunders, Joanna Lumley, Kate Moss, Stella McCartney, Dawn French, Emma Bunton, Kylie Minogue and many more enter the cinema. On our seats we found limited edition Diet Coke bottles, naturally, decorated with the two famous ladies - FYI there are three limited edition bottles, one for each character and one of the two ladies together, available to buy at Liberty London, Boots, Selfridges and Ocado while stocks last. 

The lights went down, Joanna and Jennifer took to the stage to thank the audience for their support, and the movie began. I'll just say this, as I don't want to ruin anything. The Absolutely Fabulous Movie is exactly like watching a 90 minute episode of the show. Fans will absolutely love this and will see it again and again without tiring of the concept. Go see it and check out my coverage of everything from outfitting to red carpet jogging below, thanks to Diet Coke UK. 

Clothing provided by Diet Coke in collaboration with Liberty

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Riding shotgun in the Ferrari 599xx at the Goodwood Festival of Speed 2016

I'm terrified of so many things on this earth. Truly. Ask my parents and they will most likely tell you that never in a million years would they have imagined I'd end up living in a foreign country, working in a profession that has zero stability and, in fact, requires constant reinvention. What can I say? Over the past two decades I've made a concerted effort to kill all fear, all the while being petrified. This past week I was thrown another curveball. Last Monday I received an invitation to ride as a passenger in the supercar display at the Goodwood Festival of Speed with Ferrari. Naturally, I got the email and responded with an instant "hell, yes, I'll be there."

Five minutes later the reality of the situation set in.

While I adore beautiful supercars and the power and speed that come with them, I much prefer to be the one behind the wheel controlling such a beast. I am, in short, the worst passenger in existence - always have been, always will be. Planes- can't stand them. I want to be the pilot. Helicopters - yeah, them too. Even when it comes to boats, if someone else is at the helm, I'll have a near panic attack. Only no one ever sees this. Naturally, it's all hidden away in a nice little Crocodile skin vanity case, deep within my soul. But it's there and the thought of sitting as a passenger, while a professional racing driver sweeps me around a track at 140 miles an hour in one of the world's most beloved Ferrari models (the 599xx), might as well have thrown that box clear across the room. The hinges were officially off.

No one knew. I was cool as a cucumber. We took a helicopter down to Goodwood in the early morning hours- no problems there, just beautiful views of green rolling hills- and arrived at the Ferrari supercar paddocks with time to spare. We were introduced to our cars. Hello, Ferrari 599xx, which I had to travel in as I was too tall to be comfortable in the other models on offer- won't hear me complaining.

From there we were fitted with our helmets and before I even had time to register a fear, I was buckled into my seat, the swish Ferrari red belts screaming "don't worry, you're in a luxury bubble here."  At this point I had more excitement than fear and absolutely no idea what to expect. Of course I knew the Hillclimb at Goodwood was one of most famous tracks in the world - renowned for showcasing the best the universe has to offer when it comes to fine automobiles. But, only a very few in this world get to see what it's like to drive this track, in a supercar, with thousands of people cheering, taking pictures and begging you to go faster or rev your engine just one more time before you move on. I had no idea what was in store.

We made our way to the starting line and my driver, a lovely chap named James, who I do so hope I meet again, informed me that he would not actually be driving me around the track. This man who has just assured me that all would be OK, that I would have a great time and that I would be in safe hands, was leaving me. WTF? Yes, queue the panic.

James stepped out of the vehicle at the start line and in slipped James Calado. Familiar with this chap? He's a big deal on the racing circuit and had just come from racing in Le Mans - another legendary event in which the drivers race for 24 hours. I kid you not, he got in the car and received instructions on how to drive it. I took out my iPhone and whatsapped everyone I loved - "I'm about to take off in the Ferrari. In case anything happens, I love you and I've lived a great life." True story.

The first "zero to some insane speed" off the starting line was where it all changed. With my helmet on and belts tightly fastened, we took off like a rocket ship. Fear flooded every inch of my skin and seconds letter was replaced by an incomprehensible exhilaration. I had spent a week worrying about 2 and a half minutes that I asked to do over again the moment I stepped out of the car. "Again, again," I cried. But, alas, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I can't help but think about the fact that I almost said no. I almost said no right up until the moment we took off. I nearly offered the ride to someone else.

There's a lesson here, that I do believe most Ferrari owners themselves have mastered a hundred times over- otherwise how would they be successful enough to own the beautiful toys they do? The lesson is this: recognise fear and then tell it, face to face, that you're coming for it and do it. Feel it and seal it, people.

Now, about that car ride. You know I got as much as I could on video. In full disclosure though, I didn't film the Hillclimb itself (but did capture the ride back) as I wanted to really experience this for myself. I was 100% selfish. I was also unsure if I would even have the ability to hold the camera as we sped along at insane speeds. Here's the result:

Note of thanks: Ferrari - you remain a legend in my mind. The fact that I had a chance to not only be a part of such an incredible day, but also to ride in a Ferrari 599xx, will forever seem like a dream I once had. This video is the only proof I have for myself that it happened at all.

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